Could Someone Transform My Formal Letter to Informal One? どなたか私のフォーマルレターをインフォーマルにしていただけませんか

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Jan 14, 2014 20:20
I am going to take an exam, it requires me to write a formal letter or an informal letter.
My teacher told me that my letter is a bit formal addressed to pen friend.
I'm not used to writing an informal letter.
Could you correct my letter?(only structure, not story)
試験を受けます。試験はフォーマルかインフォーマルレターを書かせるものがあります。先生が私のレターはペンフレンド宛てにしては、ちょっとフォーマルだと言いました。インフォーマルレターを書くのになれていません。
訂正していただけませんか?(内容は変えないで下さい)

Assignment
Lucy is glad to hear that you are going to England to learn English. She'd be happy to help whatever you need. You have to send her back.

Dear Lucy,

Thank you for your kind offer. I've been busy preparing for departure in 6 months.
At the moment, I'm thinking of taking a short-term course for adult students. I'd appreciate it if you could give me information about a college which meets my expectations.

Firstly, I'm interested in studying English literature, especially a 19th-century literary family, The Brontes. I was impressed by their novels when I was young and have wanted to learn about the cultural background at that time.

Secondly, I'd prefer a home-stay to a dormitory because it gives me a good chance to know people's daily life.

Actually, I have mixed feelings, being somewhat anxious, but your support has really inspired me. I thank you in advance. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

roppi


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