Memories with My Father

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Aug 14, 2019 08:52
Memories with My Father

I am a first son in my family. I have a two-year younger brother. For some reason in my boyhood, I believed that my father loved him more than me. It seemed to me that he was always lienient for my brother, and always more gererous for him than me. I vividly remember what he would ofthen say to me, "You should be more patient than your brother because you're older than him." Honestl, I was sick of his preach like that. Now I admit that it was just out of my feelings of jealousy, but I was always full of complaints about his favoritism towards my brother in those days. Novertheless, I wasn't bold enough to rebel against him before advancing to high school.

However, I began to argue with him when I became a high school student. Because I failed in the high school entrance exam, I studied a lot to go to university. I wanted to learn English more in unverstity. But it was opposed to my father's will. He wanted me to get a job and work for supporting my family right after high school. Therefore, he didn't like me to study. He would often come to the place where I was studying late at night and turn off the light there saying "It's a waste of electricity." What is more, he did beyond my patience. My father and mother ran a small restarurant at the time. At almost all nights, he let two of his friends who were good at playing the trumpet and accordion in the restaurant and sang loudly along with their loud performance. Athough I sometimes asked them to stop, they would never do.

For these reasons, we often fought against each other. He tried to convince me to change my mind and start working after graduating from high school but I never listened to him. Sadly, he was losing his health as time went by and came to go back and forth from a hospital to home. He gradually lost his energy to fight me.

Fortunately, I was able to advance to university and become a high school English teacher. Luckily, I was sent to the UK by the government to improve my English and learn how to teach English effectively. In one cold mornig in winter I had a phone call from my wife in Japan. On the phone she said, "Your father passed away." I hurried back to Japan, but couldn't make it for his funeral. Everything had been over.

Now is the period of Obon in Japan. It's believed that dead spirits come back from the other side of the world to this side of the world during the period. I've been always regretting my misbehaviours towards my father and appologizing to him for them since his death. And especially in this period of obon, I've been praying for his rest in peace and forgiveness in front of his grave.