My second English Gogyohka

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Dec 17, 2009 11:52
Floating on my back among the waves
my hands drifting with me
like fins beneath the waves
I can only see the blue sky
of a clear midsummer noon.

* I wrote the above Gogyohka in August at Iwa seaside of Manaduru Peninsula in Kanagawa Prefecture. I go swimming there every summer as the water of the sea is very transparent and we can see a shoal of small fish under the sea. By the way, I hesitated to omit " among the waves " of the first line because we can judge it from " beneath the waves " of the third line. But I didn't decide to omit it because I wanted to have the rhyme between the first and the third. How about this ?

[ Iwa seaside of Manaduru Peninsula in Kanagawa prefecture ]

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