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Jan 23, 2014 07:49
Being back in Japan, I don't have to speak English regularly. Naturally, it's rather hard to keep my drive for English learning. When I speak English here, there's something else, something unnecessary. No matter how I speak, if I speak in front of other Japanese people, it means that I'm showing off. I can sense the small emotional reactions of people around me. They are mixed emotions, I think. They may be as follows:

"Oh, this guy is showing off!"
"I can't speak English. I'm really bad."
"What the hell this guy is saying?"

I didn't have to worry about these when I spoke English outside Japan. The world was much simpler.

Even worse, I can sense that my ego is tasting self-complacency. I don't really know how to avoid all these.

I'm not learning English hard now, but instead I'm learning other languages very hard. They are mathematics and MATLAB.

When I was in high school, I decided to hate maths. It was simply because my father loved it. Teenage kids hate doing the same thing as their father do, you know. Although I entered Faculty of Science in my university, I didn't get a credit for mathematics. I studies maths seriously only for one year while I was attending a cram school after I failed in the entrance exams due to my terrible maths.

And now, look at me. I put myself in a position where I have to cover a bit of mathematics.

MATLAB is a computer language for calculation of numbers, basically. I can write simple programs. But I don't know how to organize my scripts and functions, because there are almost infinite ways to achieve a thing. I often find myself having wasted colossal amount of time for codes that I don't really need!

You might find it strange that I call mathematics as a language. In my opinion, as a hater of maths, it certainly is a language. It's not really a spoken language, but rather a language with symbols. Being familiar with mathematical symbols allows you to understand what is written in an equation. It's pretty much similar to being familiar with words, syntax or useful phrases in a spoken language, which allows you to understand what a sentence is saying.

Unfortunately, Lang-8 is not really for learns of MATLAB or maths!