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Do you believe a romantic relationship can be developed without a sufficient communication?
I heard that international marriages have increased rapidly in the last decade. Thus, I have some friends whose husbands are from other countries, which are mostly English speaking countries.
As far as I'm concerned, there are two types of wives. The first group of wives has still kept studying English diligently. The other group of wives reconciles (resigned) themselves to their circumstances, and doesn't spare even a few minutes to study.
I'm going to introduce a lady, who is in her 30s, married to a British man, with a baby. She always surprises me when she lets me know how hard she has been studying English. The funny thing of how she does it is, after having dinner, she shuts the door and practices English pronunciation diligently. She said that she feels embarrassed letting her husband hear her pronunciation practice. Needless to say that her English is already amazing, but still, she sets a high standard so as to have better communications with her husband. I am impressed.
I hope that she is not an exception out of other international couples.
Today, I brought up this topic because I have been wondering if you can build a good relationship with your partner if there is language barrier.
I have met some English teachers from English speaking countries, and they took their Japanese girl friend for granted. No offense, but I doubted that they really love each other, because some of the girls don't have enough English speaking skills, which some teachers say doesn't matter. Is that true?
It's actually none of my business, yet, some questions cross my mind from my increased curiosity.
Can they really establish a good relationship despite language barrier?
In my view, a good communication is crucial in any relationship, and it's the greatest gift that humans were given in the arena of human relations.
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I heard that the international marriages have increased rapidly in the last decade.
I'm going to introduce a lady, who is in her 30s, married to a British man, with a baby.
She always surprises me when she lets me know how hard she has been studying English.
The funny thing of how she does it is, that after having dinner, she shuts the door and practices English pronunciation diligently.
Needless to say that her English is already amazing, but still, she sets a high standard of it so as to have better communications with her husband.
I have met some English teachers from English speaking countries, and they took their Japanese girlfriend for granted.
No offense, but I doubted that they really love each other, because some of the girls don't have enough English speaking skills, which some teachers say doesn't matter.
Really? Is that true?
In my view, a good communication is crucial in any relationships, and it's the greatest gift that humans were given in the arena of human relations.
Your writing is fantastic! You are only missing very small points, like a/the or prepositions. Keep up the great work!
Wow! I'm pretty speechless about thing your friend's been doing. How come she cannot talk to her husband normally? Even she cannot just have a civilized conversation with him without being embarrassed? That is crazy for me! You know what, my husband is an American and I'm not. So, people call us an interracial couple. Yes, it is very important to understand about each language, otherwise, how could we have communication with partner? However, you don't have to be perfect either an English speaker or Japanese speaker. You just need to have basic speaking skills. Now I'm talking about learning second language. I'm presuming that her husband doesn't know what his wife's been suffering with being his wife. I'm talking about English! In addition to that, why simply she cannot ask about her English to him? She doesn't have to be shamed because of her inability of speaking English! In this case, I just don't understand why she does that! Well, my husband doesn't help me about my English because he thinks I'm sort of resourceful person, but I'm not. So, what I do thing is that simply ask him! (lol) Why not to do that? I just wanna know, how she could married with him without talking. Before I marry with my husband we talked over 3 hours every day on the Internet, and then I finally decided to get marry with him!
Rob,
Thank you for visiting my site and correcting my entry!!!
I appreciate your thoughtful comment about my English. I am going to try hard to make it better!
ありがとう！
Cat,
Thank you for your comment!!!
When I first met my friend, whose husband is a British, it was at an English school, she was really a diligent student, and I was surprised!
And I had the same questions that you have to her. "Why don't you ask questions to your husband?" "You don't need to study, do you?" kinda things.
I have been gradually understanding her and getting some answers of why she studied English without relying on her husband. I'm talking about English,ok? She's happily married.
Even for me, when I chat with my foreign friends, I would not ask them to correct my English, and also I would not stop their talk by giving them English questions. This is very important for me to build a good relationship with them. They could not be my teachers, and I wouldn't want them to be.
If my husband was an American man, I would do the same thing as my friend does. This is because the relationship with him would be the most important thing, not the language. Our mutual language would be the great means to build and maintain it, though, it is just the means. So I would study it by myself,,,or maybe on Lang-8, not with him! lol
Anyways, thanks for your comment!!! （^^）
Relationships with Language Barrier 言葉の壁のある愛情って
Do you believe in a romantic relationship can be developed without a sufficient communication?
Thus, I have some friends whose husbands are from other countries, and mostly English speaking countries.
The first group of wives has still kept on studying English diligently.
The other group of wives resigned themselves to their circumstances, and doesn't spare even a few minutes to study.
Needless to say that her English is already amazing, but still, she sets a high standard for herself so as to have better communications with her husband.
Today, I brought up this topic because I have been wondering if you can build a good relationship with your partner if there is language barrier.
Can they really establish a good relationship despite language barrier?
Alc translates language gap as 言葉の違い.
Here, the language being addressed may be the same language.
For example, perhaps between an engineer and a layman.
"Language barrier" is translated as 言語障壁、言葉の壁 and it implies 2 languages are involved. I think this is more appropriate.
>> Our mutual language would be the great means to build and maintain (the relationship), though, it is just the means.
I totally agree with you. I think as long as both parties can communciate with each other, there's no reason to be too particular with the nitty gritty e.g. correct use of the language... and there's no reason belittle your partner just because he/she has poor language skill...
By the way, I like the picture you attached...
In many cases, language barrier + culture difference is a great problem between a couple. In reality, things aren't so simple...
重要なのです。国に引っ越して、暮らしていったら、その国の言語をよく学ぶべきだと思う。
I think that is very great what your friend does for her husband. But if they live in Japan, shouldn't he work harder to learn more Japanese?
I think that communication is extremely important. Even with my foreign friends; which I have many of, I try very hard to know them, yet they can't carry on conversations for long. I know they don't mean to be rude, but it is hard to be good friends with them, even though I know they are really nice people.
俺は彼女が英語をたすけます。彼女は僕の助けがほしいです。いいですね。助けるが好きですから。＾＿＾
chin chan,
Thank you for your corrections and comment!!!
Thank you for teaching me the difference between language gaps and language barrier. I did not know that at all.
Yes, things are not so easy. Language barriers might creat mental barriers. I also have known some couples, a Western man and a Japanese couple, who got divorced, with kids. They seem to have to make efforts, which the couples with the same backgroud cannot concieve of. At the same time, they can enjoy the difference between them as well!
Tip,
Thank you for reading my entry and commenting on it!!!
Yes, while learning the language in which you live, you can learn the culture.
だから、その国の言語を学ぶのは 大切ですね。
コメント、ありがとう！
Lord King,
Thank you for your comment!!!
Oh, I didn't talk about my friend's husband though, he also studies Japanese. He seems to speak it quite well. I haven't talked wih him in Japanese, and I am not sure.
I'm glad to know that you have nice Japanese friends! I know what you mean. As for me, it was difficult to make close foreign friends before, because my English skill was not good enough. Then, I realized that I needed to improve my English up to a certain level.
This is how I have been here. （^^）
ＰＳ： Lord, You like helping your GF with her English. やさしいね。 彼女は しあわせですね。
I think relationships and love are hard enough without the added difficulties of culture and/or language barriers. Having said that ... I think if both people are committed to working hard to understand each other, then it is possible.
freshbread,
I totally agree with you.
It may be easier to fall in love, but not easy to keep the good relationship without commitment to working hard to understand each other, because of the cultual and language barriers. It applies to all the couples though.. （^^）
" Even with my foreign friends; which I have many of, I try very hard to know them, yet they can't carry on conversations for long"
Hehe, I had to read this a few times to really understand... you refer to Japanese as 'foreign friends'...? Wow.. New to Japan?
I think so. He is an American man, and Japanese friends can be referred to foreign friends for him.
LOL... That will change... once he gets used to JP... Get used to being called Gaijin.