A Feeling I Had This Morning  今朝の気分

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May 14, 2015 10:13

A feeling could change 180 degrees by unexpected coincidence.

The things could be some people I bump into or just a word I happen to hear.

While I was talking with a friend of mine this morning, I found a thing that I need to consider and maybe change the pattern of my thinking.

I concluded that I was a person who can't have lots of friends and who are satisfied with having a few close friends.

I've begun to suspect whether that is my true feeling or that is better for me. Could it be that I want to have lots of friends? Is saying that I don't need a lot of friends just a cop out?

I could be more likely to attach the friendships with one or two people if I have only one or two friends... It could be positive to say that I cherish them though.

I started to think about this was because I have quite a strong feeling that I don't want to put a burden to anyone, even to close friends.

This weird feeling, kind of loneliness, that I had encouraged me to write a diary, which was good!

ひょんなことから、気持ちが180度 変わることがある。




それって、本当に私の本心なんだろうか、それって、本当に自分にとって良いことなんだろうか? 本当はたくさんの友達が欲しいんじゃないの? 「たくさんの友達はいらない」言ってるけど、それって単なる言い逃れじゃないの?


どうしてこんなことを考え始めたかって、私には「いくら親しい友達であっても 負担をかけたくない」って気持ちが強いから。

こんな思い、 ちょっとばかりの寂しさが、日記を書くように仕向けてくれたから、よかった。