Already killed him

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Nov 19, 2012 18:33
Originally in Russian (уже-убил/).

"I've invented a time machine and I'm going to teach you it's principles", said the old man.
"Wait. If this is true you should have went back in time and killed Hitler", I replied.
"Already did", the old man said, "After the device started working I went back to the 1939 and shoot him".
"But we know Hitler lived till 1945..."
"That wasn't Hitler. That was me. Turns out without Hitler America starts a much more cruel war with Europe several years later. I had to assume the guise of the fuhrer and redo everything he did."
"Then you should have jumped to the onset of some epidemic and brought them cure", I suggested.
"Did that several times, nothing good came out of it. By the present time the humanity was wiped out by wars and overpopulation."
"But we're still alive!"
"That's because I went back and delivered a new, more deadly strain of the virus every time."
I paused for a bit, thinking.
"Then... you could have prevented the collapse of the Soviet Union"
"Tried that, I was the one who brought it down in the end."
"Death of Pushkin!"
"I was the one who shoot him in the end."
"Twin towers."
"I trained the pilots!"
"Middle ages inquisition..."
"Guess who started it all."
"So no matter what you did, it was all for the worse?", I asked, "If I were you I'd think twice before teaching me the secret of time travel, for the one evildoer I should probably go back in time and kill turns out to be YOU."
"Ha, ha", the old man replied, "Why do ya think we're so similar in appearance? You have already done that."