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(4) My Life: First Half NYC, Latter Half Paris
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Previously on this translation work: A young Taiwanese man had gone to work in NYC, thinking it was the best city in the world. However, a series of events changed his mind. Then, he'd noticed Paris and traveled to this city.
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Frenchmen knew better to have fun than Americans. There was a Paris music festival every June, when hundreds of open-air concerts were held at the same time at different places in this city. The subway was so crowded that its charging was suspended. On “La Nuit Blanche” (White Night) every October, those shops which closed regularly early operated through the whole night till 7 AM the next day. Every summer, the Paris Council arranged a 1.8-kilometer man-made beach along the right bank of the Seine. It possessed all that sea beaches had – soft sand, hammocks, sun loungers, palm trees, etc., which enabled those who couldn’t afford to travel to the sea to enjoy the beach-like sceneries.
However, the profound French culture wasn’t all beer and skittles. It also included reading. Americans read for license exams, while Frenchmen read for creating romance. In the reading festival every October, citizens took turns to recite poems on platforms at train stations in big cities. Bookstores operated till the dawn, and hosted live concerts the whole night. Cookbook exhibitions were held at stock exchanges - the most money-oriented site. In small-town book fairs, people climbed to pick the books off the trees like fruits before they could enjoy reading them. All these scenes touched me so much.
A French friend came to pick me up when I arrived in Paris in a November. I asked him, “What are you going to do tomorrow?”
“I’m going to a bank.“ he replied.
“Then?” I asked him.
“I don’t know what you mean…”
I suddenly got it. For me, going to a bank may be just a trifle after a lunchtime, but for a Frenchman, it was the whole task of a day. Unhurriedly and intently, Frenchmen tried to ensure their every single petty thing go well. This lifestyle, however, seemed effete to most Americans and Taiwanese people.
When I came back from Paris, Taipei remained unchanged. Only when I turned on my phone that had been off for two weeks did it start ringing. It was from a friend who would call repeatedly until it got through. Earnestly, he said to me, “Alright. You’ve quit your job already and have been to Europe. What’s your plan next? ”
PLAN? This word was so New York! “Live your life well. Isn’t that the biggest plan?” The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them aloud, because I knew it might sound quite affected – I was now standing in a bustling street of Taipei, and I hadn’t turned 40 yet. In addition, didn’t the leisurely French-style life I was living now partially attribute to the wealth I’d accumulated in NYC several years ago? In fact, I still loved to work. I loved NYC. I just didn’t have to blindly follow the crowd, always afraid to be off the track, as I did in my twenties.
Therefore, I blurted, “Well. I’ll get up early every day, and work hard to write during the daytime, but I think I’ll set my phone off at night.”
The world would be the same without me. The Sun would also rise. But, what if my world lacked me?
The end.
_________________________________
Frenchmen knew better to have fun than Americans. There was a Paris music festival every June, when hundreds of open-air concerts were held at the same time at different places in this city. The subway was so crowded that its charging was suspended. On “La Nuit Blanche” (White Night) every October, those shops which closed regularly early operated through the whole night till 7 AM the next day. Every summer, the Paris Council arranged a 1.8-kilometer man-made beach along the right bank of the Seine. It possessed all that sea beaches had – soft sand, hammocks, sun loungers, palm trees, etc., which enabled those who couldn’t afford to travel to the sea to enjoy the beach-like sceneries.
However, the profound French culture wasn’t all beer and skittles. It also included reading. Americans read for license exams, while Frenchmen read for creating romance. In the reading festival every October, citizens took turns to recite poems on platforms at train stations in big cities. Bookstores operated till the dawn, and hosted live concerts the whole night. Cookbook exhibitions were held at stock exchanges - the most money-oriented site. In small-town book fairs, people climbed to pick the books off the trees like fruits before they could enjoy reading them. All these scenes touched me so much.
A French friend came to pick me up when I arrived in Paris in a November. I asked him, “What are you going to do tomorrow?”
“I’m going to a bank.“ he replied.
“Then?” I asked him.
“I don’t know what you mean…”
I suddenly got it. For me, going to a bank may be just a trifle after a lunchtime, but for a Frenchman, it was the whole task of a day. Unhurriedly and intently, Frenchmen tried to ensure their every single petty thing go well. This lifestyle, however, seemed effete to most Americans and Taiwanese people.
When I came back from Paris, Taipei remained unchanged. Only when I turned on my phone that had been off for two weeks did it start ringing. It was from a friend who would call repeatedly until it got through. Earnestly, he said to me, “Alright. You’ve quit your job already and have been to Europe. What’s your plan next? ”
PLAN? This word was so New York! “Live your life well. Isn’t that the biggest plan?” The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them aloud, because I knew it might sound quite affected – I was now standing in a bustling street of Taipei, and I hadn’t turned 40 yet. In addition, didn’t the leisurely French-style life I was living now partially attribute to the wealth I’d accumulated in NYC several years ago? In fact, I still loved to work. I loved NYC. I just didn’t have to blindly follow the crowd, always afraid to be off the track, as I did in my twenties.
Therefore, I blurted, “Well. I’ll get up early every day, and work hard to write during the daytime, but I think I’ll set my phone off at night.”
The world would be the same without me. The Sun would also rise. But, what if my world lacked me?
The end.
(4) 前半生纽约,后半生巴黎
法国人比美国人会玩。每年6月的巴黎音乐节,从午后到深夜,几百场露天音乐会在各处同时举行,人多到地铁都暂停收费。每年10月的“白夜”,平日入夜就打烊(close)的店面,彻夜(through the night)营业到清晨7点。每年夏天,巴黎市政会在塞纳河右岸布置(arrange, decorate)总长1.8公里的人工海滩。细沙、吊床、躺椅、棕榈树,自然海滩有的景致这里都有,让没有钱去海边度假的民众,也可以享受到海滩风光。
当然,法国这么深厚的文化,不可能只从吃喝玩乐而来。美国人读书,为了考证照,法国人读书,为了搞(create and do)情调 (romantic settings)。每年10月的读书节,大城市的火车站内,民众轮流上台朗诵诗歌。书店营业到天明,整晚有现场演奏的音乐。“美食书(cookbooks, gourmet books)展”选在铜臭味(money-stink)最重的证券交易所(stock exchange)举办。小镇书展的书直接“长”(grow)在树上,读者必须爬到树上,把书“摘”下来品味......我心动了。
11月我到巴黎,一位法国朋友来接待我。临走前我问他:“明天你要干吗?”
“我要去银行。”
然后呢?”我问。
“我不懂你的意思......”
对我来说,“去银行”是吃完午饭后跑去办的一件小事;对法国人来说,这是他一天全部的行程。法国人总是专心而缓慢的,每天把一件小事做好。这样的生活,对美国人或台湾人来说,实在是太颓废(passive, lack of energy)了。
我从巴黎回来,台北并没有改变。关了两周的手机再度响起,一通电话找不到我的人会连续狂打10通。和朋友见面,他很关心地问我:“好了,你现在工作也辞了,欧洲也去了,接下来有什么计划?”
计划?多么纽约的字眼!我真想说:“好好生活,不就是人生最大的计划?”但我知道在熙来攘往(bustling )的台北街头,在不到40岁的年纪,这样说太矫情(pussy)了。况且,我今天之所以有钱有闲享受法式生活,不也正因为我曾在美式生活中得到很多利益?我仍热爱工作、热爱纽约,但已不用像20岁时那样亦步亦趋(follow the crowd),寸步不离(keep closely)。
所以我说:“我还是会早起,白天努力写作,但到了晚上,我想关掉手机。”
世界少了我,其实无所谓。但我少了我,还剩什么?
(完)
法国人比美国人会玩。每年6月的巴黎音乐节,从午后到深夜,几百场露天音乐会在各处同时举行,人多到地铁都暂停收费。每年10月的“白夜”,平日入夜就打烊(close)的店面,彻夜(through the night)营业到清晨7点。每年夏天,巴黎市政会在塞纳河右岸布置(arrange, decorate)总长1.8公里的人工海滩。细沙、吊床、躺椅、棕榈树,自然海滩有的景致这里都有,让没有钱去海边度假的民众,也可以享受到海滩风光。
当然,法国这么深厚的文化,不可能只从吃喝玩乐而来。美国人读书,为了考证照,法国人读书,为了搞(create and do)情调 (romantic settings)。每年10月的读书节,大城市的火车站内,民众轮流上台朗诵诗歌。书店营业到天明,整晚有现场演奏的音乐。“美食书(cookbooks, gourmet books)展”选在铜臭味(money-stink)最重的证券交易所(stock exchange)举办。小镇书展的书直接“长”(grow)在树上,读者必须爬到树上,把书“摘”下来品味......我心动了。
11月我到巴黎,一位法国朋友来接待我。临走前我问他:“明天你要干吗?”
“我要去银行。”
然后呢?”我问。
“我不懂你的意思......”
对我来说,“去银行”是吃完午饭后跑去办的一件小事;对法国人来说,这是他一天全部的行程。法国人总是专心而缓慢的,每天把一件小事做好。这样的生活,对美国人或台湾人来说,实在是太颓废(passive, lack of energy)了。
我从巴黎回来,台北并没有改变。关了两周的手机再度响起,一通电话找不到我的人会连续狂打10通。和朋友见面,他很关心地问我:“好了,你现在工作也辞了,欧洲也去了,接下来有什么计划?”
计划?多么纽约的字眼!我真想说:“好好生活,不就是人生最大的计划?”但我知道在熙来攘往(bustling )的台北街头,在不到40岁的年纪,这样说太矫情(pussy)了。况且,我今天之所以有钱有闲享受法式生活,不也正因为我曾在美式生活中得到很多利益?我仍热爱工作、热爱纽约,但已不用像20岁时那样亦步亦趋(follow the crowd),寸步不离(keep closely)。
所以我说:“我还是会早起,白天努力写作,但到了晚上,我想关掉手机。”
世界少了我,其实无所谓。但我少了我,还剩什么?
(完)
Frenchmen know better how to have fun better than Americans.
Every June, There was a Paris music festival takes place in Paris every June, when with hundreds of open-air concerts were held at the same time simultaneously at different places locations in this city.
Sounds much more native like this.
The subway was so crowded that its charging system was suspended.
On “La Nuit Blanche” (White Night) every October, those shops which closed early on ordinary nights operated through the whole/entire night till 7 AM the next day.
It possessed all what sea beaches had – soft sand, hammocks, sun loungers, palm trees, etc., which enabling those who couldn’t afford to travel to the sea to enjoy the beach-like scenery.
Working hard to write during the daytime, but at night, I think I’ll set turn my phone off.”
The sun would also rise.
What totally different states-of-mind...!
COMMENT: This is certainly one of many possible wordings. If you someday want to make this a short story, a more catchy title will be needed. However, the wording above is also a valid choice.
COMMENT: Your wording is fine by traditional grammar. In American English today, the past perfect is often replaced by the simple past . . . my prediction is that the past perfect will gradually disappear from English within a hundred years.
PUNCTUATION: Change the 句点 "。" to a Latin full stop (Am. Eng.: period).
QUESTION: When writing Chinese should I use the "。" or the "."? I know Japanese uses the
former. And maybe Taiwanese do too. What about in mainland China?
Point #1: The comma is optional. For such a short sentence, I think it is unneeded. Point #2: If you are *in* Paris, then "this city" sounds natural. However, if you are far away from Europe, then "that city" sounds better.
LOGIC: Since this is still true, perhaps the *present tense* is better. Psychologically, the present tense feels more lively and engaging than the past tense. That is why great fiction writers often use the present tense often, to create the myth of a sort of "living bubble" about events which - strictly speaking - have already occured. Frenchmen know better to have fun than Americans.
One more option: French people know to have better fun than Americans. [This wording is non-sexist. Why limit the discussion to *men* only? Often, the best fun is when people of many genders are celebrating.]
NOTE: Actually, there are *many* music festivals in June in Paris. Give readers more details! What genre of music are we talking about? Jazz? Classical? Heavy metal? It would be be best to specify the gender, and maybe even mention the location. To give this writing flavour, throw in some French words: bring readers in the event.
(I could not understand the meaning of this sentence.)
On “La Nuit Blanche” (White Night) every October, those shops which usually close at 7:00 PM on ordinary nights operated through the whole night till 7 AM the next day.
Every summer, the Paris Council creates a 1.8-kilometer artificial beach along the right bank of the Seine.
During that time soft sand, hammocks, sun loungers, and palm trees spring up, which enabling those who can't afford to travel to the distant seacoast to enjoy (the) beach-like scenery.
OBSERVATION: Culturally, I am baffled by this sentence - even though I understand the lexical items. My first thought was, "Is any culture more 'profound' that any other culture?" To me, it seems each culture has its profundity and its frivolity - and these two notions are not necessarily antithetical. Beer and skittles? It seems "Skittles" is a trademarked name by a British confectionary company. Hence, technically it would be capitalised.
CONFESSION: I have never eaten any Skittles in my life. This is the first time to learn of that word. Perhaps I have been in Asia too long!
SUGGESTION: It might be best to use a non-sexist wording. "French people" is a better word choice than "Frenchmen." Of course, you are attempting a generalisation that reinforces stereotypes that might not be accurate. Why not mention some objective data about reading habits?
Here are some reputedly objective sources of information about reading habits in the USA and France: (1) http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/10/19/slightly-fewer-americans-are-reading-print-books-new-survey-finds/ft_15-10-09_books_averageread/ (2) http://www.humaniteinenglish.com/spip.php?article2452
SUGGESTION: Check the wording - "reading festival" is possible, but "book festival" is a more common word choice. Ideally, mention the French word for this festival and add the [English name] in brackets - that will give readers a better flavour of the language and culture.
Enjoyed reading this! Unfortunately, my wife is calling me and telling me that it is time for bed. She keeps my bio-rhythms in check . . . without her, I lose track of time.
Have a good night!
SUGGESTION: Since you are describing an ongoing custom, the *present tense* makes sense - Bookstores operated till the dawn, and hosted live concerts the whole night.
My preference: Bookstores operate till dawn, hosting live concerts the whole night.
SUGGESTION: Actually, the narrative flows more smoothly without the final four words. Some people might content that banks are are money-oriented as stock exchanges . . . A short, clean narrative is more eloquent - Cookbook exhibitions are held at stock exchanges - the most money-oriented site.
LOGIC: Since this article is about *Paris* the next sentence does not seem to fit, unless you are referring to to small local book fairs within Paris. At small-town book fairs, people climbed to pick the books off the trees like fruits before they can enjoy reading them.
A smoother wording - At some local book fairs in Paris, people climb to pick books off the trees like fruits before they can even enjoy reading them.
A French friend came to pick me up when I arrived in Paris in a November.
SUGGESTION: The word "ask" was used two sentences before. Therefore, using a different word would give this sentence a better flavour. “And then?” I enquired/inquired.
For me, going to a bank may be just a trifle after a lunchtime, but for many French citizens, it is a whole day's task.
SUGGESTION: At this point in history, it is wise to avoid the word "Frenchmen" and use a more gender-neutral expression such as "French person" or "French citizen."Unhurriedly and intently, most French people try to ensure that their petty affairs go well.
This way of thinking, however, might be deemed effete by most Americans and Taiwanese people.
COMMENT: Your grammar is fine. However, the narrative would be more interesting if you mention *how long* you were in Paris. Here is a suggested revision - When I returned to Taipei after a **-day visit to Paris, Taiwan's biggest city seemed unchanged.
It was from a persistent friend who called repeatedly until getting through.
I paused for a minute in perplexity, the whispered, "PLAN??"
COMMENT: It is not clear *who* is saying - or thinking - this, so I recommend this wording - Inside my head, I was thinking, “To live my life well.
COMMENT: The word "biggest" sounds very New Yorkish to me. Here is a slightly different wording - Isn’t that the only really sane plan?” The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say them aloud, because I knew it might sound quite affected – I was now standing in a bustling street of Taipei, and I hadn’t turned 40 yet.
In addition, wasn’t my leisurely life in France partially thanks to the wealth I’d accumulated in NYC several years ago?
Your original wording is possible. More succinctly - In fact, I still loved to work.
NOTE: Since NYC was previously mentioned, a different wording is more eloquent - I loved the Big Apple.
I just didn’t have to blindly follow the crowd, or always afraid of being off the track, as I was in my twenties.
I’ll get up early every day, and work hard to write during the daytime, but I think I’ll set/turn my phone off at night.”
OBSERVATION: This is like a Zen koan because the question is laden with paradox. Without "my" can there be a "me"? And although many people think in terms of "my world", what if we did a mind shift and switched this around in a revolutionary way and say, "the world's creation - one of the 8 billion human "I-s"?
So you are in Taipei? It could be great to have a cup of coffee sometime before I return to Tokyo on March 5th.
Life as a novel: it is an interesting way to see our existence - a work on creative fiction.
Ah, it's just a translation work. I wish I were in Taipei now, then I would be able to meet you.
I hope I can make it some day when I travel to Tokyo!
Chinese New Year's coming. I hope you will enjoy this festival in Taipei. Best wishes!
Frenchmen were better at having fun than Americans.
There was a Paris music festival every June, when hundreds of open-air concerts were held at the same time at different places in this city. At the music festival held in Paris every June, from the afternoon to night, hundreds of open-air concerts were held simultaneously at several different places.
The subway would become so crowded that its fare would be suspended.
The correct term for 费 here is "fare" because charging is a verb.
Since this happens every year BUT you're talking about the past, "would be/would become" is (in my opinion) the most appropriate tense. I don't know why....
On the“La Nuit Blanche” (White Night) of every October, the shops which usually closed regularly early (shifted to operating) operated through the whole night till 7 AM the next day.
Every summer, the Paris Council arranges a 1.8-kilometer man-made beach along the right bank of the Seine.
It possessed all that natural sea beaches had – soft sand, hammocks, sun loungers, palm trees, etc., which enabled those who couldn’t afford to travel to the sea to enjoy the beach-like scenery.
Of course, French culture being so profound (deep), wasn’t all beer and skittles.
Americans read (to pass/to study for) license exams, while Frenchmen read for creating romance.
In the reading festival (that took place) every October, citizens would take turns reciting poems from the (train station platforms of big cites).
Bookstores would operated till the dawn, hosting live concerts the whole night.
All these scenes touched me (deeply).
For me, going to (the) bank (is) just a trifle after a lunchtime, but for a Frenchman, it was the whole task of a day.
Unhurriedly and intently, Frenchmen try to ensure that every single petty affair goes well.
This lifestyle (approach), however, (is) effete to most Americans and Taiwanese people.
When I came back from Paris, Taipei remained unchanged.
I came back from Paris to discover that Taipei had remained unchanged.
“(Isn't to live life well the biggest plan?)
In addition, couldn't the leisurely French-style life I was living now be partially attributed to the wealth I’d accumulated in NYC several years ago?
I just didn’t have to blindly follow the crowd, always afraid to veer off the track, as I did in my twenties.
I’ll get up early every day, and work hard (writing) during the daytime, but I think I’ll set my phone off at night.”
But, what if my world lacked me, what was left?
但我少了我,还剩什么?
Interesting ending to an interesting story! Thanks for sharing!
祝大学申请顺利!等候好消息!