prologue #1

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Feb 14, 2020 17:35
One day at the end of 2015, I got an i-message from my younger sister, Sayaka, for the first time in almost five years.

The message was saying:
"This is Sayaka.
Sorry that I haven't replied for a long time.
I have something to tell you.
I'll call you shortly."

Seeing the message, I recalled the last time when I had talked to her while crying at the resting room of my ex workplace in Ikeburkuro five years ago in 2010. That was the sudden message too. It said that she'd called the real estate agency to cancel the contract that had been about to be realized. After reading it, I got shocked and jumped out of the desk and immediately made a phone call.The reason of her action was that my husband hesitated to become a guarantor for the apartment for rent when mom and her were trying to move to the town where I live in. My husband and I offered financial support instead but they didn't accept his behavior and decided not to move.
That was after Sayaka declared she'd resign from her job and gave her bed to a neighbour, and it was a huge damage for her.

I felt apologetic and afterwards sent many food and fruits and sweets almost every month but I couldn't restore the state which had been used to be. Although a couple of times my husband suggested to go to Nagoya to see and apologize them, I was reluctant. But I should have confronted them directly. This was the first mistake that I made. If I did it then, the situation would've been more different. Thinking back to the past, however, Sayaka might have had a negative feeling toward me since I abandoned my hometown Nagoya and came up to Tokyo. In addition to it, as there’s the theory that’s called ‘Kine’s complex’, siblings often don’t get along and we were not an exception. At any rate, my moving to Tokyo might’ve been the cause of all affairs.

I replied instantly, attaching my email address writing and "Anytime is OK. Even now.", but nothing didn't come. Waiting time made me anxious and impatient. A few days later I sent a message to ask what it was about. The return message said,
“I’m sorry. I don’t have courage to say. I’m going to have lunch now, so I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I began thinking what is something needed courage to say. All that occurred to me was negative incidents something like embezzlement of company cash or being threatened by yakuza because she carelessly damaged to their cars or....etcetera etcetera..... I imagined every worst case scenario and prepared for them.
I decided to wait until she gets ready.