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Yumi Saseda
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Rehnskjold
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Must makes something sound more imperative. Saying you "have to" implies a small level of defiance and in this case it implies a slight desire to stay awake. Because of the poetic nature of this sentence it's hard to correct, but I think I understand what you mean. 私も完徹あります (That may be the wrong word, I mean 夜は眠れない)
If you want to aim for something poetic, you could also structure the sentence like this:
"I know that I must sleep, for I do not wish to wait for dawn and witness the changing of the night's sky with pain still in my heart".
I wanted to avoid changing your sentence too much because I didn't want to lose it's emphasis.

Also, you use the British spelling for a lot of the words you use, so if you are going to continue using the British spelling the word colour has a U in it as you can see. But this is just me being too strict now. Sorry!

Jan 4, 2015 15:40 Public I hope just some simple thi...
TheCutestOtter
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Jun 12, 2014 20:26 Public Itomaki and Makizushi
broccoliathome
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May 13, 2014 08:36 Public rent not for Japanese
alucena
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May 12, 2014 13:59 Public Dancing in a grocery store
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May 12, 2014 13:58 Public Dancing in a grocery store
TheCutestOtter
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May 11, 2014 20:21 Public Learning is endless.
TheCutestOtter
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May 2, 2014 22:27 Public Kotodama
TheCutestOtter
Either the original entry has been deleted or you don't have access to it.

May 2, 2014 22:27 Public Kotodama
TheCutestOtter
Either the original entry has been deleted or you don't have access to it.

May 2, 2014 22:27 Public Kotodama

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