英検作文対策:Japanese companies should hire more foreign workers in the future.

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May 1, 2019 20:18 eiken 英検
I have been honing my essay writing skills to prepare for an English proficiency test that will be held in four weeks. Would you please correct my essay below? I would be grateful if you could show me more proper ways to express my opinion.

[Task] Write an essay on the given TOPIC. Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer. Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion. Suggested length: 120-150 words.

TOPIC
Agree or disagree: Japanese companies should hire more foreign workers in the future.
POINTS: information, skilled labor, unemployment, population

My answer: I agree with the idea that Japanese companies should hire more foreign workers in the future for the following two reasons:
First, Japanese society has faced to the decreasing in population. If Japanese economy and industry strive to survive in the global economy, there is no other way but to accept more foreign workers.
Second, to gain the strong competitivity*(competitiveness?), it is important to get skilled labors despite of their nationalities. And it encourages Japanese companies to offer a better working environment to attract those who have experties*(expertise? specialty?) in their field from all over the world. Improving working conditions is in any meanings good to workers, also to Japanese workers.
For those reasons, I agree with the idea that Japanese companies should hire more foreign workers.

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* I realised I had made a mistake when I typed my essay with a keyboard. I wish the answer sheet had the same function.