喜怒哀楽の哀

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Feb 22, 2014 00:29
このサイトに登録してから三週間が経ちました。日本語が上達しているかどうか分かりませんが、自分の考えや感想を表現して文章に書くのが楽しいし、書き終わったら満足感が得ます。さて今日は「私のことをラング8の皆さんにもっと知ってほしい」という意味を込めて「喜怒哀楽」のテーマにお届けしたいと思います。

そこで、まずはel喜ではなく喜怒哀楽の哀、哀しみですね。数年前の話なんですが、私のせいで親友を失いました。ある日学校に帰る時に親友が「昨日自殺をしようと思ったけど、全然できなった」と言われて、その瞬間に私は言葉を失って何ができるのか分かりませんでした。そんな話が苦手なんですが頭がくるくる回転して慰めたいと思い、「大丈夫だ、ただある一つの時期を通過してるよ。 明日起きたら元気に戻るぞ」と答えました。もうすぐ学年末試験なのでストレスがたまっていると不安で少し憂鬱になるとは自然で当たり前だと思っていました。おそらく青年期に喜怒哀楽の感情が激しくて動揺しやすいのでしょうか。

しかし、実は先週お母さんが亡くなってしまって親友は鬱病にかかり始めました。頭が空っぽな私はいかにその状況の深刻さが理解できなくて、あまり心配ではありませんでした。それから元気が出るかどうか分かりませんでしたが、無言で帰りました。親友が憂鬱になってしまって誰にも相談できず、自殺したいぐらい苦しんでいたのですが、どうして私は全然気づかなかったのかな。英語の表現なんですが、日本語では「ラクダの背中を壊れた藁」という表現があるそうです。つまり、ラクダの背中にどんどん藁を乗せていて(親友の悩み)、最後に1本(私の行動)の藁を乗せてもラクダの背骨が折れてしまい.ます(親友が限界に達す)。早い話が誤解が起こり、親友の感情を害して仲が悪くなりました。

本当に無神経な人ですね。いまだにすべきだったことを後悔しているのです。

常識だけれども、相手との感情を共用することはとても大切でしないと間違いなく誤解が起こるのが分かってきました。自分の感情をコントロールするっていうのは難しいですが自殺より友人が怒って嫌われたほうがいいと思います。友達を失っても今彼女が生きていて嬉しいです。ですから、友達や家族を大切するなら元気そうに見えるとしても話しかけて彼らの元気を出せてみてくださいね。

人間の感情には喜怒哀楽があります。喜び、怒り、悲しみと楽しみです。その感情は自分の顔と目に現れているので心の窓と言われています。この話通りに窓を開かないときっと誤解されていると思います。
It has been about three weeks since I registered on this site. I am not sure whether my Japanese has improved, but expressing my own thoughts and feelings into writing is fun, and I usually feel very satisfied after finishing a entry. Well then, today I’d like to write to the theme of emotions as a way to have everyone know me better.

Firstly, I would like to start with sorrow instead of joy. A few years ago, I lost my best friend. One day, we were both returning from school and she said “Yesterday, I intended to kill myself, but I could not bring myself to do it.” At that particular moment, I was lost for words and did not know what I could do for her. I am bad at these sort of situations, but I thought really hard for something to say just to cheer her up. I told her, “It will be all right, it is simply a phase you are going through. Once you wake up tomorrow, you will be all better.” It was nearly our final exams for school so naturally the accumulated stress would lead to her feeling a bit down. I had thought that it was quite obvious at that time. I wonder whether it is because of adolescence, so a person’s emotions are easily disturbed.

However, the truth happens to be that her mother had died the week before, so she began to slip into depression. The air head that I am did not realise the seriousness of the situation, and therefore, did not feel that worried. After that, I was not sure whether I cheered her up or not, but we returned home in silence. My best friend became depressed and refused to speak to anyone, she suffered in silence to that extent that she wanted to suicide. I wonder why I was so careless and did not notice at all. In English, there is a idiom called “The straw that broke the camel’s back”. In other words, straws are gradually placed on the camel’s back (my friend’s worries), and by placing another straw onto the back (my actions), it will break as the camel has reached its limit (my friend going over her emotional tipping point). To cut a long story short, a misunderstanding arose, I hurt her feelings and we decided to no longer be friends.

I'm such an insensitive person. To this day, I regret what I should have done.

Although it is common knowledge, I have come to understand that sharing one’s emotions with your partner is very important, and without doing so will arise in misunderstandings. Controlling one’s own emotions are difficult, however, I think that it is much better to be hated than to have your friend throw away their life. Even though I have lost a friend, I am glad that she is still alive. So if you cherish your family and friends, please speak to them and try to cheer them up, even if they appear to be happy.

As for humans, we have a range of emotions. Joy, anger, sorrow, and enjoyment. Those emotions are expressed through our face and eyes, which is why it is called the window to the heart. Just like I have said in this entry, if you do not open yourself to others, then you will most definitely be misunderstood by others.