Nowadays, people put too much emphasis on personal appearance and fashion. agree/disagree

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Jul 14, 2009 17:30 help english essay toefl sat
Hello lang-8 users. I need some help here. Im actually preparing for SAT but couldnt think any other way to improve my writing skills.
so um.. It would be really appreciated if you can help me.
This is an essay on a certain topic Ive written. and there might be some errors here. Thanks! :D

Everything can be defined as a need or want. A need is something that we need in order to survive. A want is something that is unnecessary but that satisfies someone’s desire. Today, every person wants to look fashionable and attractive. However, the luxurious life everyone dreams of is unnecessary; it is a want, not a need.

Above all, caring for fashion and personal appearance is wasting of money. People spend astronomical amount of money on their clothes. And it happens especially when buying brand products. Those Clothes may make people look physically beautiful and sharp, but they do not fill them up mentally. For example, there are two people: one that cares about fashion, and one that cares about knowledge. When each one’s income is the same amount, between those two people, knowledge one would be more successful after 10 years from now. It is because he will study how to earn money with which he can buy those clothes while the other one will still spend his money on his clothes.

Next, when making relationship, one’s personality is more important than fashion. There is no doubt that fashion is a factor that improves one’s image. However, once in the relationship, fashion code no longer works as neither positive nor negative matter. When deciding to marry somebody, people consider every possibility that might affect the couple. But there has been none who separated because their fashion style did not match. Rather, they consider whether they can live happily ever after. Fashion certainly does not have much effect on people’s lives much.

Finally, if we spend too much on how we look, we unconsciouslyneglect our priorities. There are some people who can’t focus on other things when they are doing something. It can be applied to the fashion code. If people pay their attention only to buying clothes and going shopping, they can’t save their money. Then they don’t have enough money to use in case of emergency such as fire, robbery, or accident. There are insurance companies who can pay for the loss. But there is always the case they cannot pay for the loss. That is why it is wise to set saving money as one of the priorities, not buying clothes.

To sum up, we have to think before spending money because we might easily ignore more important things such as gaining knowledge, living in happiness, and saving money for dangerous situation. All in all, we need to consider the other ways to spend our money wisely, not squandering on unimportant things, like fashion and personal appearance.

Ah.. I really want to write w/ right examples but I can't think anymore. :P