Would you please correct my script?

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Jul 17, 2014 17:11
Hi :)

I've finished editting my first video about trip to Hiroshima, and I'm going to put some English narration on it before I upload on my YouTube channel so that you can understand it well while it's good to practice speaking English.
I want to make sure that my narration is written in correct and natural English before I put it on, so I'd be really glad if you would correct my script of the video.

(Video is about the places we visited during the trip to Hiroshima. It's going to show some pictures of the places, and I've made this narration that comes along the pictures.)

Here is a script↓↓
Hi, everyone. This is Miho.
This is my first time to upload a video on YouTube.
I'm going to show some of the places where I visited while I was in Hiroshima with my husband. I have to say sorry first because my pronunciaion isn't perfect enough to make you understand conpletely, but I'll try my best and I'd be happy if you would give me some advice on my English.

So. let's get started.

First destination was Miyajima. We had to take a ferry to go there.
This is a view from the ferry.

Here, we're approching a biggate of Itsukushima shrine.

There were bunch of deers welcoming us after getting off the ferry.

Going through a walkway to the shrine, here we arrived at in front of the biggate.
As you have noticed, this biggate stands in sea. It was low tide when we just got there, so we were able to take great pictures closer to it!

This is how inside of the shrine looks like.
This is where people tie their fortune slips.
And, these pictures are my favorites. Aren't they beautiful?

We took some breaks. My husband had local original beer and I had this.
It was so delicious. Filling were read beans paste.

We decided to take a ropeway to go up the mountain called Misen.
But, we had to walk a little bit to go to a ropeway station.

This is a view from the ropeway. It was a 30 minites ride.

This is a view from the mountain. It was really stunning.

After coming back from the mountain, we had lunch.
As for dessert, I had this maccha shaved ice.

I love hydrangea!

This is the picture of the biggate when the the tide was high.
And, this is the shrine.

A deer sitting in front of an entrance of a restaurant. It looks like he's cooling down.

The next day, we visited Peace memorial park.
This building remains as it was when an Atomic Bomb hit Hiroshima.
I really wish peace all over the world.

We took short break again.
And, we had Okonomiyaki! It's Japanese pancake?

This is all about our trip.
Thank you for watching!

Thanks in advence.