■A Mission (seems like) Impossible.
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Hi.
Do you have time now?
If you do, would you watch this presentation about relationships? (it is 20-minute talk!)
I'll try to write my opinion on it.
It will not be easy for me to express it in English, but I hope I will do well.
Was the speech long?
I hope you don't think so.
I have had a suspicion whether technology is going to lead us to be happiness.
I think technologists must believe it as common sense.
But is it the truth?
It's thanks to technology that our lives have become much convenient in recent years.
The speech given above is mainly about human relationships.
But when we look around entire our lives, we may find a suspicion.
It goes without saying that being convenient is much better than being inconvenient.
But technology is for our happiness, not for our idleness, isn't it?
We tend to lose handcrafted stuff and even homemade dishes.
And perhaps, it happens all over the world.
I don't mean that technology has taken them away.
But we've come to use technology to compensate our mental frailties in the process, I think.
If everything can be done by one-click, are we really happy?
Where are we going?
We have to think over for what we should use technology.
Hmmm...Difficult.
Do you have time now?
If you do, would you watch this presentation about relationships? (it is 20-minute talk!)
I'll try to write my opinion on it.
It will not be easy for me to express it in English, but I hope I will do well.
Was the speech long?
I hope you don't think so.
I have had a suspicion whether technology is going to lead us to be happiness.
I think technologists must believe it as common sense.
But is it the truth?
It's thanks to technology that our lives have become much convenient in recent years.
The speech given above is mainly about human relationships.
But when we look around entire our lives, we may find a suspicion.
It goes without saying that being convenient is much better than being inconvenient.
But technology is for our happiness, not for our idleness, isn't it?
We tend to lose handcrafted stuff and even homemade dishes.
And perhaps, it happens all over the world.
I don't mean that technology has taken them away.
But we've come to use technology to compensate our mental frailties in the process, I think.
If everything can be done by one-click, are we really happy?
Where are we going?
We have to think over for what we should use technology.
Hmmm...Difficult.
■A Mission (Seems Like) Impossible.
The whole title should be capitalized, if you use capitals. :)
If you do, would you watch this presentation about relationships?
...Sure! ;)
(It is a 20-minute talk!)
Perfect use of the hyphen. ;D
I have had a suspicion wondered whether technology is going to lead us to be happy.
"Had a suspicion" isn't really wrong, but I think "wondered" sounds more natural with this idea. Suspicion has a subtle feel of negativity to me, and also gives me the feeling that you might already believe in your suspicion.
Also, "wondered" works better with "whether." ;) Usually having a suspicion goes with "that" or "about" (as in, "I had a suspicion that he wasn't going to show up" or "I had a suspicion about my sister's behavior").
If you want to emphasize that you've had this suspicion/theory for a long time, you could add "long," as in "I have long had a suspicion" or "I have long wondered." Or you could say "I have often wondered."
I think if I were to write this from scratch, I would write something like, "I've always been suspicious about the idea that technology will make us happy" (more negative-sounding) or "I've questioned for a long time whether technology will really bring people happiness" (more philosophical).
I think technologists must believe this as is common sense.
"It" is understandable, but "this" sounds more natural.
"As" is also understandable, but sounds odd with "believe." You could say "see this as" instead, though. :D
But is that the truth?
"It" isn't wrong at all, but "that" sounds more emphatically questioning. "Is it the truth?" sounds more neutral.
It's thanks to technology that our lives have become much more convenient in recent years.
You could also say just "more convenient" instead of "much more convenient." It depends on how much you think convenience has increased.
The speech given above is mainly about human relationships.
"Given above" sounds a little like the speaker is literally giving a speech in your journal. ;)
You can simply say "The speech is mainly about human relationships" because you've previously made it clear what speech you mean. You don't need to specify again unless you start talking about a different speech.
But when we look around our whole lives, we may become suspicious.
"Entire" is very OK, but "whole" sounds more natural to me. You could also say "at our whole lives," which feels more like a direct look. "Around" feels a little like your gaze is wandering. Either one is fine! ;)
You can say "find a suspicion," but it feels very incomplete to me. I want to know, "What do you suspect?"
"Become suspicious" feels a little more complete, but the question is still there. It's like you have a bit more time to answer. ;)
Also, the "but" at the beginning of this sentence prepares me to see an idea that conflicts or contrasts with the previous sentence's ideas, but I'm not sure I see the contrast or conflict.
Maybe you mean to contrast thinking about "mainly human relationships" with thinking about "our whole lives"? If so, I think I'd write something like, "The speech is mainly about human relationships, but I think we need to examine our whole lives."
It goes without saying that convenience is much better than inconvenience.
Hmm ... How to explain my change in less than 500 words ... ;)
"Convenience is better" means "It's better when things and events are convenient."
"Being convenient is better" means something like "It's better for people to be convenient."
The second one sounds a little bit dehumanizing to me, because of how "convenience" feels in my head. A convenient thing fits easily into your life, requiring very little thought or consideration. Convenience tends to equate "easy" with "valuable" and "worthy of attention" (so it opposes the idea that difficult or complicated things might be worthy of attention).
So you *can* say people are convenient or inconvenient, but to me, that sounds like people have become objects or tools, without feelings. ;)
But technology is for our happiness, not for our idleness, isn't it?
This is mostly understandable, but it's not really natural. To sound natural, you might say something like, "But technology exists to make us happier, not to waste our time, doesn't it?"
We tend to leave behind handcrafted things and even homemade dishes.
"Stuff" is rather casual for a serious discussion. "Things" is more neutral.
The meaning of "lose" isn't really clear here. It sounds like we're prone to physically misplacing homemade things (maybe we left them on the train? ;) ). I suggested "leave behind" because it sounds more figurative here, but it's not perfect. What Japanese word would you use? :D
If I wrote this myself, I might say, "We've been letting go of handcrafted things and even homemade food" or "We've been forgetting the value of handcrafted things and even homemade food."
It also feels like there should be a little more connection between the previous sentence and this sentence. Maybe you could begin with "Lately, we"?
And it would be nice to see a more direct connection between homemade things and technology. That is, why do you think of handcrafted things when considering this topic?
(Please pardon my nitpicking! I'm thinking of your future wizardry! ;) )
And perhaps, this is happening all over the world.
The comma isn't really necessary, though it isn't really wrong.
"This" refers more definitely to your previous topic than "it," and sounds more natural.
"Happens" isn't wrong, either, but the time period of the events is ambiguous. "This is happening" sounds like the events are occurring right now.
I don't mean that technology has taken these things away.
"Them" isn't grammatically wrong, but it's a little unclear, since there was a different pronoun ("this" or "it") in the previous sentence. "These things" is a clearer reference to the earlier "handmade things and...".
But we've come to use technology to compensate for our mental frailties in the process, I think.
You can say "in the process," but what "the process" refers to should be clearer. ;) Like:
"But we've come to use technology to compensate for our mental frailties in the process of losing touch with ourselves, I think."
If everything can be done with one click, are we really happy?
"One click" is "a single click."
"One-click" is either a new term that needs defining, or Amazon.com's system of quick checkout. ;) (Though Amazon's system is actually "One-Click" or maybe "1-Click," with capitalization to show it's a proper noun.)
Where are we going?
This is a perfect sentence, grammatically. :D In context, I think I would write, "Where is this taking us?" because it sounds more connected to the general topic.
We have to think over how we should use technology.
And for reference, I think I would write something like, "We should rethink how we use technology."
I also want to write about what I think of the talk itself, but then this comment could get very long, so I'll be quiet for now. ;)
I got it.
Paying attention to detail is important ;D
I also understand that I have to write "a X-minute talk".
I learned.
Yes. It was more exact to use "wondered" than "had a suspicion".
I'm at neutral between these ideas as you pointed out.
I see the subtle difference.
When I use "wonder", I have not come to conclusion.
So "wonder" works well with "whether".
In "whether" segment, like "whether A or B", A is equal to B.
On the other hand, when I use "have a suspicion", I've almost come to conclusion.
So it goes with "that" or "about".
They lead a segment with more concrete idea.
Is that right?
>"-technology will make us happy"
Yeah! This is the very English sentence.
Normally, humans become subjects and things(not humans) become objects in sentences.
I like to absorb English senses much more!
I meant "believe this is common sense".
I could understand "this" is more natural on instinct.
If I wrote "technologists must see this as common sense", would I mean nearly "technologists must regard this as common sense"?
If so, it is more exact to write "believe this is-".
I got it!
I'm ...i don't know what to say in English...scatterbrain(?).
I seemed to misunderstand the word "above".
Does this mean physically "above" like floating in the air?
Okay, this might be correct.
"The full moon above Britton Hill"
is this??
ふふふ。
I wish this site was built to let me easily quote your comments when I reply, but since I can't seem to do that, I'll wait until you're done and reply all at once. It might be a long reply, but it'll be neater, at least...
We now return you to your regularly scheduled commenting. ;D
I still have a lot of things to learn.
僕はまだまだです(- -;)
Logically speaking, when I say "Being A", it would imply like "Being A for me"?
If I were right, I understood it!
thank you, Crystal ;D
"Technology exists to-" is literally what I needed to say there.
And more, "not to waste our time" is great correction!
But I got "lose" indicates the physically meaning.
Can I say "distance ourselves from-" or "turn our back on" too?
In Japanese, I would say just like "handcrafted things から離れてしまう".
In literal translation, it would be "distance ourselves from-".
So "letting go of -" is also what I meant.
You're right!
I should start this sentence with any conjunction.
Or it sounds something sudden, maybe.
Actually, I mentioned "handcrafted things" because they require more time and more price than technological(meaning quantity production) things.
I can't explain it well, but we tend to choose things by its price and "how convenient they are". That's I wanted to say by mentioning it.
I wrote that on instinct alone.
This might be a good example that "Paying attention to details"!
>Please pardon my nitpicking! I'm thinking of your future wizardry!
I know it well ;D
Don't think such a way, please! I totally appreciate you!
I'll try to indicate things clearly!
And...yes!
"this is happening-" is much better.
I made it unclear.
I will pay attention to this point.
Indeed "in the process" is halfway.
I would also think "in the process...of what?".
This happened because I translated "いつの間にか" to English literally.
When I use dictionary, I should consider its usage more X(
When we create our own word, it is necessary to capitalize its letters.
Yes, I see!
This sentence also takes a "thing(not humans)" as subject.
I have not picked up this sense yet.
But I think this sort of expression is very "English-like" expression.
I like to pick it up soon!
"rethink" would be a great solution.
And...yes. "how we should use technology" is the best way to say that.
まだまだ修行が足りませんな。(´Д｀)
I like to ask for your advice.
And like to listen to what you think of the talk.
Please give it to me sometime you have time (but please don't push yourself).
Thanks all the way for your closely corrections!
You are making a lyrical wizard, ふふふ XD
I can pick up many things from those corrections you wrote.
> Paying attention to detail is important ;D
With this in mind: There's another style of title capitalization, in which you capitalize only the first word and any proper nouns. So you could write a title like: "Today's news, with Keisuke" and it would be correct. (Some newspapers and magazines use this style of title capitalization, although some native English speakers/writers believe it's incorrect because of what they learned in English class. ;) )
> (It is a 20-minute talk!)
Note that if you put a parenthetical inside another sentence, it doesn't always need the capital at the beginning. So you can write something like, "It's a 20-minute talk (although it seems shorter to me)." I often use parentheses, so you can probably learn the capitalization rules from my babbling … Ha, ha…
> In "whether" segment, like "whether A or B", A is equal to B.
> On the other hand, when I use "have a suspicion", I've almost come to conclusion.
> They lead a segment with more concrete idea.
凄いです！ そして正しいです。;)
> If I wrote "technologists must see this as common sense", would I mean
> nearly "technologists must regard this as common sense"?
Yes, that's it exactly. :D
> I'm ...i don't know what to say in English...scatterbrain(?).
"Scatterbrained"は完璧です. しかし、心配ありません。It's expected for writers to be scatterbrained sometimes, so it's OK. ;)
> I seemed to misunderstand the word "above".
> Does this mean physically "above" like floating in the air?
It usually means physically or visibly above, but I think the issue with "The speech given above" is more with "given" than "above." It implies that the action "given" occurred above, but in fact the speech was actually given elsewhere. If you had written "The speech linked above" (or something else that acknowledges that "above" refers to a location inside your journal entry) then there would be no problem with "above." :D
それでも、 "The full moon above Britton Hill"は正しいですよ!
> Logically speaking, when I say "Being A", it would imply like "Being A
> for me"?
Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm realizing "being" is complicated. (What a symbolic discussion! ;) ) I think the implication of "being" is strongly influenced by the context.
So I could say, "Being understood is important to me" and mean "To me, it is important that people understand me."
But if I said just, "Being understood is important" then I would probably mean, "I think it's important for all people to be understood."
Or I could say "Being understood, I will continue talking." This sounds rather awkward, but it would mean "Now that I know I am understood, I will continue talking."
This explanation is probably not very helpful, but feel free to ask more questions and I'll keep trying to make things clearer! ;)
> But I got "lose" indicates the physically meaning.
Technically, you can lose something non-physical, too. (It makes sense to say "I lost my heart" or "I lost my soul" or "I lost my happiness." We know those aren't physical losses because that wouldn't make sense.) However, if "lose" is applied to a physical object, it sounds like it means physical loss.
You can definitely say "distance ourselves from" or "turn our backs on," though. Those are even better than my suggestion. (＾▽＾)
By the way, I think your idea of contrasting the way we value handcrafted things and the way we value convenient things is very, very valid. I think it contains a really important message. If you edit this journal entry into an essay or article, that part should definitely be in the next draft. There just might need to be a little more explanation to make your meaning perfectly clear. :D
> This happened because I translated "いつの間にか" to English literally.
Oh! Seeing the original Japanese, I think maybe your sentence could have been written, "But I think that without realizing it, we've started to use technology to compensate for our personal flaws." (I know "personal flaws" isn't exact, but to me, "mental frailties" almost has a feeling of mental illness. That's very very nitpicky, though. ;) )
> When we create our own word, it is necessary to capitalize its letters.
I should be more careful — it's my fault that I was unclear! You can definitely invent words without capitalizing them. ;D What I meant was…
"One click" (without a hyphen) means a single click.
"One-click" is a compound word that needs context or explanation to be fully understood. Instinctively, I think it looks like it should be an adjective, as in, "It was a one-click operation" (an operation that required only one click). However, because you wrote "by" in front of it, it seemed like a noun, which was carrying out the action of doing everything. (Meaning, you can write, "If everything can be done by computers" and it makes complete sense. "If everything can be done by one-click" sounds similar, except I don't know what "one-click" is, as a noun. Unless...)
"One-Click" is an official name for part of Amazon.com's checkout system. It gets capitalized because it's a name, like Keisuke or Lang-8 or the World Cup.
OK! I'm done with my comments on your comments. If I neglected to answer something important, please tell me!
I hope this comment is as useful as it is long. ;D