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The flag-raising ceremony

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May 04th 2012 23:43
Today is youth day. I got up at 6:00am. It’s so early that I’m very sleepy.
I bought two steamed buns and a bottle of soya bean milk.
The notice said the students will assemble in the parliament building.
The ritual ceremony began at 7:00am. Five star red flag rose slowly with national anthem.
There is a burning in my heart. I love my country. We cherish the memory of our martyr who sacrificed for revolution cause.
Jon
Thank you for your correction!
May 05th 2012 11:05
  • Today is youth day.

  • Today is Youth Day.

    It's a specific holiday, like May Day, I think?

 
  • It’s so early that I’m very sleepy.

  • It’s was so early that I’m was very sleepy.

    The tenses need to match.

 
  • The notice said the students will assemble in the parliament building.

  • The notice said the students will should assemble in the parliament building.

    I am guessing that the notice gave instructions. Or was it just an article?

 
  • The ritual ceremony began at 7:00am.

  • The ritual ceremony began at 7:00am.

    "Ritual" seems redundant.

 
  • Five star red flag rose slowly with national anthem.

  • The five star red flag rose slowly with national anthem playing.

 
  • There is a burning in my heart.

  • There was a burning ? in my heart.

    "Burning" doesn't seem to work as a noun in this case. Maybe, "My heart was burning with emotion"?

 
  • We cherish the memory of our martyr who sacrificed for revolution cause.

  • We cherish the memory of our martyrs who sacrificed for the revolutionary cause.

 
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Today is youth day. I got up at 6:00am. It’s so early that I’m very sleepy. I bought two steamed buns and a bottle of soya bean milk. The notice said the students will assemble in the parliament building. The ritual ceremony began at 7:00am. Five star red flag rose slowly with national anthem


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