Self Disgust 自己嫌悪
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There is only Japanese student apart from me in my English class.
私の他に一人だけ日本人の生徒が学校に居る。
She looks like in her middle of twenties, who has smooth radiant skin.
彼女は２０代半ばに見え、肌がなめらけで輝いている。
Her big eyes always wide open and looks not to miss one word the teacher said.
彼女の大きな目はいつも見開かれて、先生が言ったことを一言も聞きもらさないとしてるようだ。
She is the favorite of teacher as she is enthusiastic for everything.
彼女は先生のお気に入りだ。何に対しても熱心だからだ。
She is popular among other students as well.
他の生徒にも人気がある。
She is impeccable.
非の打ちどころがない。
On the contrary, I'm in middle age, lost in the class.
一方、私は中年で、クラスについていけない。
I feel like I'm inferior to her.
彼女より劣っているみたい。
I know it is meaningless to compare me to her as I should learn English at my own pace.
自分のペースで勉強すべきだから、彼女と比べるのは意味がないとわかっている。
Why is her presence so annoying me?
なんで彼女の存在が気になるのか。
The answer is jealous for her youth.
答えは彼女の若さに対する嫉妬だ。
I've never thought the feeling come to my mind, because I'm the one who don't care for other person.
私は人の事を気にしない性格なので、こんな感情が生まれるとは思わなかった。
I am disgusted with myself for being such a person!!
こんな人間だったとは嫌気がさす！
To shrug off the feeling, what I should do now is just studying.
この感情を振り払うために今やらなくてはいけないのは、勉強だ。
私の他に一人だけ日本人の生徒が学校に居る。
She looks like in her middle of twenties, who has smooth radiant skin.
彼女は２０代半ばに見え、肌がなめらけで輝いている。
Her big eyes always wide open and looks not to miss one word the teacher said.
彼女の大きな目はいつも見開かれて、先生が言ったことを一言も聞きもらさないとしてるようだ。
She is the favorite of teacher as she is enthusiastic for everything.
彼女は先生のお気に入りだ。何に対しても熱心だからだ。
She is popular among other students as well.
他の生徒にも人気がある。
She is impeccable.
非の打ちどころがない。
On the contrary, I'm in middle age, lost in the class.
一方、私は中年で、クラスについていけない。
I feel like I'm inferior to her.
彼女より劣っているみたい。
I know it is meaningless to compare me to her as I should learn English at my own pace.
自分のペースで勉強すべきだから、彼女と比べるのは意味がないとわかっている。
Why is her presence so annoying me?
なんで彼女の存在が気になるのか。
The answer is jealous for her youth.
答えは彼女の若さに対する嫉妬だ。
I've never thought the feeling come to my mind, because I'm the one who don't care for other person.
私は人の事を気にしない性格なので、こんな感情が生まれるとは思わなかった。
I am disgusted with myself for being such a person!!
こんな人間だったとは嫌気がさす！
To shrug off the feeling, what I should do now is just studying.
この感情を振り払うために今やらなくてはいけないのは、勉強だ。
There is only one Japanese student apart from me in my English class.
She looks like she's in her mid-twenties, and (she) has smooth radiant skin.
Her big eyes always open wide and looks not to miss one word the teacher said.
She is the favorite of the teacher as she is enthusiastic for everything.
In some dialects you could skip this definite article, but I wouldn't.
I know it is meaningless to compare myself to her as I should learn English at my own pace.
Why is her presence so annoying to me?
The answer is jealousy for her youth.
I've never thought the feeling come to my mind, because I'm the type who doesn't care about other people.
I totally agree with you.
However, in decades she might be feel the same emotion.
I am so mean!!
There is only one Japanese student apart from me in my English class.
She looks like in her middle of twenties and she has smooth radiant skin.
Her big eyes always wide open and look not to miss one word the teacher said.
She is a favorite of the teacher because she is enthusiastic for everything.
On the contrary, I'm in the middle ages and lost in the class.
I know it is meaningless to compare me to her because I should learn English at my own pace.
I've never thought the feeling come to my mind, because I'm the one who don't care for other people.
I have felt at peace when I had finished posting.
Also, your comment encouraged me to study more.
Many thanks!!
As you know, I'm Japanese. I hope you didn't mind with my corrections, even though I'm a non-native speaker.
Recently, I corrected a Japanese lady's English on Lang-8. I don't know if she is young or not. She thanked my corrections first, but then, she asked me if I'm Japanese.
I said I'm Japanese.
She said I shouldn't correct other people's English because I'm not native. She asked me what I think of it. So I replied to her I disagree with her, but as she didn't like my correctios, I said I wouldn't correct her English any more.
She started nagging me. I told her that I have many friends who like my corrections and native foreigners who think my English is good enough to help people, so I asked her if I could show our conversation to those people. She didn't reply to me, but she changed the setting of her post not let the people read her entry. Of course, I wasn't able to go back to leave comment on her page either, but she kept writing something mean about me, although I wasn't able to read whole messages.
Well, I thought she just felt jealous of me. I really hate such people. I think my English is good enough to speak or write, but my vocabulary is very limited, so I sometimes feel jealous of people who have good scores of TOEIC or high level vocabulary, but learning more is the only way to overcome my feeling, as you mentioned.
I'm kind of emotional. I get angry, frustrated, sad, or whatever...
I think it's very good. It's the evidence that we are alive.
Sorry I wrote too much.
全く彼女に非はなくて、単に彼女の才能と若さがまぶしいだけなのです。
そう、そのくらい素敵な人なんですね。なかなかお目にかかれないかもしれません。
ああ、自分が恥ずかしいです＆こんな感情に苦しめられるのに驚いています。
これが歳を取るってことなんですねぇ。
The answer is jealous for her youth. (or The answer is perhaps I am envious of her youthfulness.)
I would have used the word [envious] rather than [jealous] here. Nowadays these two words are being used almost interchangeably. But I think they should be used for different situations.
You're envious of what people achieve, have, do, etc. Jealousy means something else--it has to do with love and devotion. For instance:
A) I am envious of my classmate because she has such nice eyes and radiant skin . ( relating to properties that she has that I don't have, e.g. in this sentence, youthfulness.)
B) I am jealous of her because she is the teacher's favorite. (relating to matters associated with feelings, love and affection).
May be I am old fashioned and language has evolved to the extent that now, no difference in usage exists anymore between these two words.
Thank you very much.
I made a note.
In practice however, I think the difference is often in the kind of emotion attached to it. To me, envy doesn't sound as negative; it's like admiration with an added feeling of something like "wanting to have it for yourself". Jealousy however implies some degree of hate, it generally sounds much more negative than envy.
Also, keep in mind that the human mind often views things in a negative way. You felt envy or jealousy at someone's youth, but did you also realize that young people sometimes respect and envy older people for their wisdom, life experience, accumulated knowledge, etc.? I think it's good to always try and look at positive sides of things as well.
To start, I see something very positive in this story: even though you probably felt bad about your emotions at that time, you recognized and expressed them, not only to yourself but also to others. It's great to be able to do that; it's a large step towards acceptance. Everyone has emotions, but few people can handle them properly.
So, I think that instead of being disgusted, you should be proud of yourself! :)
I'm touched!
I will try to see a bright site.