•The topic is:Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
•I hope my friends can help me to correct my essay about:
1,This is a written essay, whether or not the words are colloquial
2, Can it be expressed in a more formal way
3,Better words to use so that the essay is not boring
•Here is my composition:
The rate of crime is increasing with the progress of society. There has a disscuss about whether or not the punishments for crime should be fixed. This essay will look at some of the arguments for and against fix punishments.
Some individuals belives that only the country fix punishments for kinds of crime, the resident could have an safe societal atmosphere, because of nobody have special right to aviod punishing if anyone had done something which harm others benefit. For example, no matter who criminal's father is and no matter what status criminal are in the society, the criminal must be punished in the same way as ordinary person. Therefore, everyone will pay more attention to their activities in society as no one can help them escape away from punishing if they against the law.
However, others hold opposite view. These people insist that should not fix punishments for varieties of crime. The degree of crime should not only considerate which type of crime they had done, but also should think about circumstances, motivation and so on. There are many factors contribute to crime. For instance, if one kill others just for save innocent persons that country should not kill the criminal. Addtionaly, some people commit crime because of the circumstances are emergency. For example, others aim to kill them and they must take some action to protect themselves, unfortunately sometimes they harm those people who want to kill them deeply because of they are too afraid that cannot control themselves, in this situation, they should not undertake the same degree of punishing as those people who harm others active.
To conclude, I against to fix punishments for crime. Because many factors are effected persons to commit crime. Sometimes, they may do some contribute to the society. For example, when they frighting with criminal they hurt criminal with careless. Therefore, when punishment somebody should considerate all factors which let them harm others' benefits. Criminal should not be punished in some way just because the kind of crime they had committed.
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This is my eighth IELTS writing task. Thank you in advance, for willing to spend some time to correct my mistakes. •The topic is:Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the moti