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In these days, I am feeling worried about myself. I am 19 years old now and will soon be 20, but i have never fallen in love with a boy or crushed on someone. What is worse, I just realized that I have never ever had a male friend!
This fact made me feel really upset and frustrating. Looking back, it seems that I am always afraid to talk to my boy classmates even my cousin who is of the same age with me. I can say hello to them naturally, and then I do not know what can be talk about next! What do boys like? sports? video games? science? I have no idea about all of them! How can those girls talk to the boys all the day although they don't know these stuff either! I am really afraid to make boys feel boring and think me stupid or silly. I admit I have low self-esteem and I even hardly have eye-contacts with boys.
On the other hand, It is easy for me to communicate with girls and I do have several besties that I can share secrets with. I am sure that I am straight and I don't have any bad memories about guys in childhood. My parents are nice and they did encourage me to make friends with boys but it is still tough for me. I feeling so bad. :(
This fact made me feel really upset and frustrating. Looking back, it seems that I am always afraid to talk to my boy classmates even my cousin who is of the same age with me. I can say hello to them naturally, and then I do not know what can be talk about next! What do boys like? sports? video games? science? I have no idea about all of them! How can those girls talk to the boys all the day although they don't know these stuff either! I am really afraid to make boys feel boring and think me stupid or silly. I admit I have low self-esteem and I even hardly have eye-contacts with boys.
On the other hand, It is easy for me to communicate with girls and I do have several besties that I can share secrets with. I am sure that I am straight and I don't have any bad memories about guys in childhood. My parents are nice and they did encourage me to make friends with boys but it is still tough for me. I feeling so bad. :(
Lately, I've been worried about myself.
I am 19 years old now and will soon be 20, but I have never fallen in love with a boy or had a crush on anyone.
This made me feel really upset and frustrated.
Looking back, it seems that I have always been afraid to talk to my male classmates, even my cousin who is the same age as me.
I can say hello to them naturally, but then I do not know what to talk about next!
Sports?
Video games?
Science?
I don't know anything about any of them!
How can those girls talk to boys all day even though they don't know about these things either!
I am really afraid to bore boys or make them think I'm stupid or silly.
I admit I have low self-esteem and I hardly even make eye contact with boys.
I am sure that I am straight and I don't have any bad memories about guys from my childhood.
My parents are nice and they have encouraged me to make friends with boys but it is still tough for me.
I feel so bad.
Sometimes I find it difficult to talk to people I'm interested in, too. I don't think talking about things that they're interested in is a good idea, unless you are also interested in those things.
Instead, talk about things that are around you and things that you are both experiencing. Things like the weather and other people around you can be good conversation starters.
One thing is for certain: the more experience you have, the easier it becomes. Set a goal for yourself everyday to talk to at least one male who you don't know. It doesn't need to be somebody who you're interested in. Just talk to any guy who's in front of you in line or sitting by himself. Just say something simple and see if a conversation can come from it. As you get more comfortable with talking to strangers, try to talk to people you're attracted to.
Also, work on your self-esteem! People can sense when somebody has high self-esteem and when somebody has low self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself, you attract more positive attention.
I wish you the best of luck!
I agree with you that talking with strangers could be a good way to overcome low self-esteem. However, I am afraid It would be awkward if this situation really happened . I mean, when someone you never met before suddenly says " Hi! Nice wheather, isn't it?", will you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable ? And then thinking "why does this stranger talk with me? I don't know her!" ?
I have never tried to talk to strangers for no reason especially in lines or on the streets. And unfortunately, no one has talked to me in that way except asking the way or time...So, I am just curious.
And if you fall flat sometimes, you'll become more used to it and will realize how little it ultimately matters. If you don't click with this person, somebody else will come along later. Just keep your head held high and roll with the punches. If you fumble sometimes, it isn't a big deal.
I think talking to strangers will really build your confidence, which will help your self-esteem and make the next conversation go even better, building your confidence even further. I always try to think about what are the best and worst things that could happen in any given situation. In your case, the best is that you could meet a new friend and potential love interest, and the worst is that you might waste a couple minutes of your time. To me, the risk of wasting a few minutes seems well worth the potential benefits.
These days, I am feeling worried about myself.
I am 19 years old now and will soon be 20, but I have never fallen in love with a boy or have a crush on someone.
What is worse, I just realized that I have never ever had a male friend!
Looking back, it seems that I am always afraid to talk to my male classmates even my cousin who is of the same age with me.
I can say hello to them naturally but then I do not know what can be talk about to say next!
Sports?
Video games?
Science?
I have no idea about all of them!
How can those girls talk to the boys all the day even though they don't know these stuff either!
I am really afraid to make boys feel bored and think me as stupid or silly.
I admit I have low self-esteem and I even hardly have eye-contacts with boys.
I feel so bad.