I made a translation of a japanese poem, can you help me to correct it?

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Mar 11, 2012 17:43

Hello, I made translation of this japanese poem, please can you help me to correct my english translation?




ふり
Kaze
Wind
ゆらめいて儚い煌きのおと
Yurameite hakanai kirameki no oto
the the ephemeral twinkling sound flickering
そういつまでも
Sou itsumademo
Yes, forever

あなたのそばで「えいえん」を奏でている
Anata no sobade "eien" wo kanadete iru
I'll play in "eternity" at your side

紅く染まり行く色彩をひとみにうつして
Akaku somari iku shikisai wo hitomi ni utsushite
Reflecting in the eyes the color going to dyeing in crimson

今、すべてを捧げて恋にこがれてく
Ima, subete wo sasagete koi ni kogarete ku
Now, yearning for love I'll consacrate everything ??

とぎれていた夢続きをみつめて
Togirete ita yume tsudzuki o mitsumete
Keep staring the sequel of the interrupted dream

彩られたあなたのそば 季節を感じる
rodora reta anata no hata kisetsu o kanjiru
Feeling the seasons I/you was adorned at your/my side ??

せつなすぎたheart -心-
Setsuna sugita Heart - kokoro -
was too painful Heart

泪毀れても
Namida koborete mo
also broken tears

響き渡るやさしい声が
Hibiki wataru yasashii koe ga
the gentle voice resound


さぁ目をさ覚ましあざやかな「えいえん」に想いを馳せて
Saa me wo samashi azayakana"Eien" ni omoi wo hasete
Hey, run the feelings in "eternity" vivid awakening


雨に濡れたままあいをこころに感じて
Ame ni nureta mama ai wo kokoro ni kanjite
Still feeling love in my heart as is it I/you get wet in the rain

眩しすぎたひかり導かれて行く
Mabushi sugita hikari michibika rete iku
going guided in the light too dazzling

輝いたおねがいと祈りを捧げる
Kagayaita onegai to inori o sasageru
I'll devote a pray a shined wish

哀しみの時代おわりを迎える
Kanashimi no jidai owari wo mukaeru
accepting the end of sorrowful time


あなたの色重ね合せげんじつを溶かす
Anata no iro kasane awase genjitsu o tokasu
melting the reality piling up mixing your colors


きっとみらい溢れ華は咲き乱れ
Kitto mirai afure hana wa sakimidare
surely the future will overflow of bloom of flowers


愛しい人あなたのそばで
Itoshii hito anata no hata de
with the/ a lovely one at your/(my) side ?



Thank you so much in advance m(_ _)m