part of my argument , please pick some grammar mistakes

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Mar 6, 2012 17:31
In recent years,there are increasing number of films and TV programmes appeared which involved a host of violent content.Some people believe that the violent crimes in society would be remarkably increased if the government do not legislate to control those violent scenes.In my opinion,however,this argument is not persuasive because of the weak causal relationship between crime rate and violent contant in art works.

Undoubtedly,many criminals,especially those youngsters, admitted that they had watched such violent films before.However,this research could just be a part of the story.On the one hand,this statistics didn't show that how many people,who have never committed a crime,had watched such films.On the other hand,the research did't reveal the possibilities that those criminals still likely to commit the crime if they had never seen the violet film before.

More importantly,from a liberalism standpoint, the government must show their respect to people and filmmakers.Paternalism could not perform a good function to a society even if it could solve some short-term problem.
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