homework 3
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On one hand, wealth or success is not the seeds of personal happiness. It can be seen commonly that many wealthy people break the ties with their family member and live separately because of the inheritance issues. The vast wealth brings a broken family and incomplete life not happiness. Thus, many wealthy celebrities lived lonely and realized until their old age.
On the other hand, people have good interpersonal relationships with others often lived happily, even though they are not so rich. Just as some older people said, harmonious family and sincere friends are the path to happiness. Family and friends share our joy and painful time, that’s the key they made us a happy life. In brief, love the people around you and happiness will naturally come with.
On the other hand, people have good interpersonal relationships with others often lived happily, even though they are not so rich. Just as some older people said, harmonious family and sincere friends are the path to happiness. Family and friends share our joy and painful time, that’s the key they made us a happy life. In brief, love the people around you and happiness will naturally come with.
On one hand, wealth or success is not the seeds of personal happiness.
-0.5 "on the one hand...on the other hand" used incorrectly, already addressed this mistake in class
Thus, many wealthy celebrities lived lonely and realized until their old age.
-1 Conclusion doesn't connect to thesis
On the other hand, people have good interpersonal relationships with others often lived happily, even though they are not so rich.
-1 Topic incorrect
In brief, love the people around you and happiness will naturally come with.
-1 doesn't connect to thesis