Narcissistic Boy's story

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Mar 8, 2012 19:33
Narcissistic Boy's story

There was a boy who loved himself so much.
One day, he gazed at himself on the water & tried to kiss it,
because he loved himself too much.
And then he fell into the water & drowned & died.


My friend told me this story.
This story is interesting & allegorical to me.
What do you think about this story?
阿二
Mar 8, 2012 22:31

中国にそのような物語もあるね。（間違そうだね。恥ずかしい。＝＝｜｜）

Mar 10, 2012 19:00 nami
コメント有難うございます :))

中国にもあるって本当？これはギリシャ(だったかな？)のお話みたいです。
自己愛は人間の性なのかな〜
Jamthom8
Thank you for your correction!
Aug 30, 2012 00:09
  • There was a boy who loved himself so much.

  • There was a boy who loved himself so very much.

 
  • One day, he gazed at himself on the water & tried to kiss it,

  • One day, he gazed at himself reflection in on the water & tried to kiss it because he loved himself so much.

    This segment and the next should be one.

 
  • because he loved himself too much.

  • One day, he gazed at himself reflection in on the water & tried to kiss it because he loved himself so much.

    This segment and the previous should be one.

 
  • And then he fell into the water & drowned & died.

  • And then he He then fell into the water, & drowned & died.

 
  • My friend told me this story.
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
 
  • This story is interesting & allegorical to me.
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
 
  • What do you think about this story?
  • This sentence is perfect! No correction needed!
 

The ending is a little abrupt, but the moral is a good one.

I would recommend that you do not use ampersands very often as you might get too used to it. They must never be used in formal writing.

Aug 31, 2012 00:57 nami
Thank you so much for your help :)

Sep 3, 2012 13:47 Jamthom8

  • One day, he gazed at himself reflection in on the water & tried to kiss it because he loved himself so much.

    This segment and the next should be one.

I just realised that I made a mistake. It should be ' One day he gazed at HIS reflection in the water'.

Sep 3, 2012 17:07 nami
Thank you for re-correcting me again!
You are such a nice person :)

Sep 3, 2012 17:16 Jamthom8
I think that if I try hard to help others then others will try hard to help me.

Sep 3, 2012 18:04 nami
Oh I like that. If everybody thinks that way, it'll be great.
Let me help you.
Any question, you can count on me. I'm not a teacher though.
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Narcissistic Boy's story There was a boy who loved himself so much. One day, he gazed at himself on the water & tried to kiss it, because he loved himself too much. And then he fell into the water & drowned & died. My friend told me this story. This story is interesting & allegorical to m


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