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- The Chase - Chapter Five
The Chase - Chapter Five
Masao was running away from his uncle who was trying to kill him. Masao decided to check in a cheap-looking hotel with an old, torn canopy in front.
//////////////////(Quote:)
This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, battered furniture and one cracked window that looked out on a brick wall.
/////////////////////(from "The Chase" written by Sidney Sheldon)
I thought, at first, that Masao could see only a brick wall of the next building from his room's window, which was standing so close to the hotel.
However, on second thought, I think that my interpretation of the sentence was wrong. If we saw Masao's room from the outside of the hotel, Masao's room had a brick wall and one cracked window, right?
I hope that my second interpretation would be correct.
On the contrary, I would like to change the sentence, which means my first interpretation. Because it seems better to express how cheap the hotel was.
How about this sentence?
"This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, battered furniture and one cracked window, from which Masao could see nothing but a brick wall of the next building which stood so close to the hotel."
//////////////////(Quote:)
This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, battered furniture and one cracked window that looked out on a brick wall.
/////////////////////(from "The Chase" written by Sidney Sheldon)
I thought, at first, that Masao could see only a brick wall of the next building from his room's window, which was standing so close to the hotel.
However, on second thought, I think that my interpretation of the sentence was wrong. If we saw Masao's room from the outside of the hotel, Masao's room had a brick wall and one cracked window, right?
I hope that my second interpretation would be correct.
On the contrary, I would like to change the sentence, which means my first interpretation. Because it seems better to express how cheap the hotel was.
How about this sentence?
"This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, battered furniture and one cracked window, from which Masao could see nothing but a brick wall of the next building which stood so close to the hotel."
Masao decided to check in at a cheap-looking hotel with an old, torn canopy in front.
"Check in" is a phrasal verb indicating the action of initiating the rental of a room. You still need the preposition "at" to indicate where this was done.
If we saw Masao's room from the outside of the hotel, Masao's room had a brick wall and one cracked window, right?
No, your first interpretation was correct. If Masao looked out the window, the brick wall would be most of what he could see.
I hope that my second interpretation is correct.
On the contrary, I would like to change the sentence so that it means my first interpretation.
"This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, battered furniture and one cracked window, from which Masao could only see a/the brick wall of the next building."
This is correct, but it has the same meaning as the original sentence.
The next building was standing so close, almost ATTACHing to the hotel.
So the preposition "on" works well in this context, right?
Then, if I want to change the sentence to my second interpretation, how can I write it?
"......and one cracked window that looked out FROM a brick wall."
Correct?
I somehow sensed it in advance.
So "would be correct" seems better than "is correct".
Is "I wish my second interpretation would be correct" correct?
Is the verb "hope" wrong if I want to use subjunctive mood?
In the phrase "look out on", the word "on" doesn't have to do with closeness or contact. A hotel window could look out on the ocean, for example. I don't know how to explain why it's "on"; it never occurred to me before that it was different from other uses of "on".
Thanks.
Masao decided to check in to a cheap-looking hotel with an old, torn canopy in front.
This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, worn furniture and one cracked window that looked out on a brick wall.
Battered suggests violence... oh... I am correcting the source material...
I hope that my second interpretation would be correct.
Sorry man the writing sucked, the suggestion was that he could only see a brick wall.
"This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, worn furniture and one cracked window, from which Masao could see nothing but the bricks of the next building's exterior."
Yet, I think the original sentence might be correct, because there is some description of the hotel in advance:
"The rug was frayed and torn and the walls were covered with graffiti: (in Italic letters) Kilroy was here but he left. He couldn't stand the smell...Mary loves John; Jone loves Bruce...Help! Get me out of here... Cockroach Heeaven...
What do you think? ??
If you are interested in noir writing go direct to the master
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=51458&d=1273685255
I'll try to open it by using another computer.
Thank you, minicat!
Masao decided to check into a cheap-looking hotel with an old, torn canopy in front.
This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap and battered furniture with one cracked window that looked out on a brick wall.
cheap and battered are used to describe the furniture, so "and" was added to make that connection clear. The "with" adds to what else was in the room to connect the sentence.
Masao could only see a brick wall of the next building from his room's window because the room was standing so close to the hotel.
You wouldn't need to say "I thought, at first" because you said earlier that that the view of the window was of the brick wall and I put the "because" in to give a reason why these bricks would be seen from the windows view.
I hope that my second interpretation was correct.
"This room was barely bigger than a closet, dirty and dreary, with a few pieces of cheap, and battered furniture with one cracked window. Masao could see nothing but a brick wall from the next building which stood so close to the hotel."
Pretty good, just some past tense errors and extra words that aren't necessarily needed.
BTW,
I have to say sorry for you.
I should have mentioned that this entry was a question about the novel "The Chase" by Sidney Sheldon.
I made questions about "The Chase" from time to time in this Lang-8, and I omitted the explanation about it this time.
I edited my entry a little to make it clearer.