Feeling blue

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Jun 24, 2011 09:13
Well, this is something that I need to get off my chest and since everyone here have been really nice to me, I think this is the place to say it. Besides, I'd love to receive a little bit of feedback about what I'm going to say, and also, corrections because I'm never sure if my grammar is correct.

The thing is that I've been feeling really sad and confused today. The reason? I basically lost my motivation to learn French.
This isn't new for me, I've been feeling like this since March. I really don't know why, I find the classes really boring and annoying, also, the book we use in class doesn't help either. I can't concentrate enough and the only reason why I keep attending to my classes is because I like to be with my friends.
At first, I thought I was having a hard time because we're learning a lot of heavy grammar, I tried to stay positive and forget about it, but now...Now I realized this isn't about the grammar or something like that.

I remember that a few months ago my mom saw me studying Japanese in the kitchen and she noticed I was in a really good mood. I finished my homework a half an hour later and I started with my french homework and I instantly got frustrated, so my mom asked me what was wrong.

I told her that french was giving me a hard time because of the grammar,the book wasn't good and my teacher was always asking us to do a lot of letters and I was running out of ideas. Besides, she criticized my letters because they were apparently "too long", so she told me to do shorter letters. When I started to do my letters a little bit shorter, she told me that they weren't good enough. So I basically didn't know what to do.

Another thing is that, I'm already a Niveau B2 (Advanced) and I had to spend 5 hours per week in french classes, but I'm not going to take the international french exam this year because I'm going to Germany in September (Exchange/Au Pair program) and I'll be staying there until next year.

My french teacher noticed I'm not the same person that I used to and she said that I'm not giving my best because I'm going to Germany and I don't need to study hard to the B2 test, but I think she's wrong, because I don't feel demotivated because I'm going to Germany and my head is focused on the german language, I FEEL DEMOTIVATED BECAUSE I FEEL THAT WAY! I'd be really worried if I had to take the test this year and I find myself in this terrible situation.

She also says that I'm not paying enough attention to french because I started with japanese this year, and it makes me really anrgy because you have no idea of how much enjoy studying japanese. When I go to my japanese classes I feel very relaxed, no one is pushing me...My japanese teacher doesn't like to take traditional exams (he likes to ask random questions and if you don't answer them, he tells you to study harder) and he tells us that studying japanese is something that we should do because we like it and it's not an obligation.

I personally feel the same way with German and French but it's not the same thing. I've been learning German since I was really little because I went to a German school and even though I love the language and the culture, I've always had to take it REALLY serious because it was a subject in school and I've always had the pressure of the international tests (I'm not saying that someone forced to take them, I did it because I wanted to, and I'M PROUD to have the certificates and everything but I still had pressure).
Same thing with French, I started because I like the language and the culture but I've always studied for exams and that stuff.
On the other hand, I study japanese for pleasure. I take it seriously and I study hard, but no one is pushing me to get ready for a test or anything.

I enjoy studying all the languages I'm currently studying, but French is really killing me right now, and I can't quit because I'm extremely responsible and I'd feel guilty, since I'm almost two months away of leaving my country for a year (I won't study french in Germany)

I've never felt this way before, I've had hard times with German too but not like this

Sorry if this was too long and boring but I had to say it to someone and since a lot of people don't understand me when I try to talk about this and judge me, I really can't talk to them...Besides people are here to learn languages and I don't know, I thought this was the proper place to talk about this...

Thanks for reading :-)