My Memory about Suzhou

I went to Suzhou at the first summer vacation of college, after that , I also went to Shanghai,Nanjing and Changsha, etc.

Do not need "at". Also you will almost always use a comma before "etc."

Ever since I was attracted by Suzhou, no other places really appealed me. I want to go to Suzhou again.

Because the two sentences are in different verb tenses, you should make it two different sentences.

As is known to us ,Suzhou is a city that arounded by water. Suzho is known as a city that is surrounded by water,

"N~ is known as ~" is the grammar pattern you should use at this time. "arounded" is not a correct word. Please replace it with the word "surrounded".

You can see the rivulets,creeks, and lakes almost everywhere.

When coming to the end of a list, "and" is needed before the last part of the list.

You can feel the moisture in the air .

"moist" is an adjective, but you need a noun. The noun form of "moist" is "moisture".

The sunlight is also soft even if it is summer.

Besides that ,the most famous thing in Suzhou is Suzhou Garden.

All place names should begin with a capital letter.

I’m not be able to tell you how beautifu it is in chinese ,let alone in english.

the pattern you want is "~~ let alone in~~~" "let along" is not a proper structure.

I hung aroud in Zuzhou in the evening ,I wanted to find the place where I could buy a ticket for a cruise but I lost my way .

You should always match tenses in the same sentence. If you use past tense in the first part, you also need to use past tense in the second part.

Then I asked an old people an old person for help on the Gu Xu Bridge. He not only told me the routine way ,but also told me a story about the bridge.

When using "an", you must follow it with a non plural noun. When using a plural noun, do not use an. You can choose "an old person". This needed to become two sentences. "routine" is not the right word in this case. You should use "way" or "direction".

I met a lot of people in Suzhou,they are beautiful ,kind and well trained well-mannered.

"well-trained" is usually an adjective only used for animals such as dogs. The reason is that people are not considered to be trained by others. However, sometimes you can say that a parent trains a child, etc.

You can even see the calligraphy which was written by primary students at the bus stop. It’s a city full of literature.

I like Suzhou ,and I want to live there when I’m retired to spend the rest of my life.

"I like Suzhou, so when I retire, I want to spend the rest of my life there" is a better sentence.