The Trauma Caused by The Parents: 親の罪

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Mar 21, 2013 14:53
I sometimes listen to my niece.
When she wants me to listen to her, she visits my house with her autistic son.
She came my home yesterday and talked with me.

She look back over the past and said sadly, "I used to study hard because I wanted to be praised by my parents, but they never praised me. When I reported my mother that my result was good, she just said 'Fuuun.' However, she blamed me when I got a bad point. The other day, I told her that I want her to encourage me with praise. The she told me that she couldn't do that. I need just the word, 'You're doing well,' from her. If she gives me the words, I would be able to try hard to bring up my son."

She has suffered from depression for about five years and divorced because of it.
At first her parents took care of her, but she left her parents' house and now lives with her son.
I can imagine it's hard for a mother suffering from depression to bring up her autistic son by herself.
However, her parents never try to understand her agony.
They both think that they are shamed by their daughter and grandson.
They are afraid of what people will say about them.
Even though she knows that her parents won't change, she has been eager to be accepted by her parents since her childhood.

I feel really sorry for her.
I think if her parents accept their daughter as she is, she won't suffer from her depression.

What I can do is just to listen to her.