なくてぞ人の恋しかりける I Miss You.

I'll try to translate one of essays written by Akiko Kumai.
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It has been several years since my friend's husband died.
A young widow always says that she should have done that or this.
I can't have any words to comfort her.

"As I tend to speak frankly, we often quarreled terribly.
I got angry and jealous with trivial things.
But now he has gone, and suddenly I noticed that all of these things are not so important.
Like a flash in the dark, I suddenly understood it.
Ancient people expressed the thing well, didn't they?

"ある時はありのすさびに語らわで、恋しきものと分かれてぞ知る
　aru toki wa, arino susabi ni katarawade, koisiki mono to, wakarete zo siru"

I noticed for the first time how important and how necessary he was for me when he had gone.
Why didn't I notice while he was alive?

When he came home, I didn't meet him who was jostled in the crowded train because I was absorbed in making dinner.
As he didn't take care of kids, I went into hysterics.
In the morning, we quarreled and I didn't say nothing when he went out to his office.

If he could come back to life, I would never do such stupid things..., appreciate tenderly..., have a good time with him cherishing a moment and a moment..., say gently that I'm really happy with him...