Deadpool’s Poem

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Dec 22, 2010 17:07
I had to write a 40-line poem for my College English 101 Course, and I decided to write mine as if written from Deadpool's perspective. I hope you enjoy it. Comments and positive criticism are most welcomed, of course. I had to perform it before my peers and professor, so I read it in my Deadpool voice. I got many laughs, needless to say; it was Deadpool, after all.

Deadpool’s Poem

First, allow me to dedicate this poem to Bea Arthur.
The world won’t be the same without her.
Now, enough about Bea,
Let’s talk about me.
Wade Wilson’s my real name,
Being a merc (That’s mercenary for short, kiddies) is my game.
I was dying of cancer,
So I thought joining Weapon X was my answer.
Oh, they cured me alright,
But now I’m so ugly, I gotta wear a mask all day and all night!
Some people think I’m Spider-Man when they first see me in costume,
Or so they like to assume.
As if I would sell my marriage with the red hot supermodel to the devil!
While I may be crazy, I assure you that in that regard, I’m quite on the level.
I’ve made a few friends over the years like Blind Al, Weasel, Bob, and Cable,
Who all can’t stand when I put my feet up on the table.
I’m also quite the ladies man, too.
Syrin, Copy Cat, Death, Typhoid Mary, and Big Bertha are just a few.
For those of you wondering just who I yam,
I’m a comic book character, that’s what I yam!
Oh, and I was in the Wolverine movie,
Which clearly wasn’t all that groovy.
The minute that they decided to sew up my mouth,
Is when that movie went south.
But never fear,
Ryan Reynolds the actor is here.
He claims he wants to do my solo movie just right,
So as to not cause a fan boy fight.
I and fan boys everywhere swear that if his Green Lantern movie gets in the way,
By God, he shall pay!
Just how do I know all of this if I’m in a comic book, anyway?
Well, boys and girls, I break the fourth wall each and everyday.
I’m so popular, I have 3 monthly comic books.
You should see how jealous Captain America looks.
I recently had my 900th issue,
Quick, somebody please pass the tissues.
I’ve also been in a few videogames.
Marvel Ultimate Alliance and X-Men Legends 2 are just a few of the names.
Well, it’s time for me to go.
I gots a whole lotta people to kill and gotta collect me some dough.