My cousin is 4 years younger than me.

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Feb 18, 2019 12:13
My cousin is 4 years younger than me. She has a mother who is very controlling. She had wanted to go work in a big city, but her mother wouldn't allow her. So she ended up working in her hometown and this year she agreed to marry a guy that was picked by her mother.

She had only met this guy twice before the engagement. Apparently, there was no love between them. It was all about getting marry for the sake of doing it or because they couldn't take the pressure from their parents any more. So they compromised.

During Chinese New Year, I visited her once in the beauty salon she was working in. She seemed reluctant about this marriage and she told me that she took 40,000 RMB as dowry from this guy. That means she is almost obligated to marry him by the end of this year. She obviously didn't want to, because she hated the idea of giving up her job and going to his city.

Later, she revealed that she had a boyfriend whom she loved. Her mother disapproved because the guy's family was poor and she even tried to prevent her daughter from meeting himagain.

I felt sorry for her. But I also feel she should've been stronger with her stance. She shouldn't have let her mother control her life this way. She took the money and she knew what that meant.

At the same time, I symphathize with this guy or Chinese guys in general. In order to get marry, they have to pay a great deal of money and still it's not guaranteed.

Before I left my cousin, she had an ugly argument with her mother over the phone. She didn't like the engagement and tried to release all her angry on her mother. Both of them mentioned they were going to commit suicide. They yelled at each other for about 20 minutes and my cousin cried because she felt so depressed and hopeless.