I view myself as an extremely indecisive person.

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Apr 5, 2019 12:36
I view myself as an extremely indecisive person. I spend most of my time deciding what to do, what to eat, or what to wear, I end up doing nothing.

Likewise, I am not writing as much for the same reason. I waste a lot of time thinking which topic I should write about, rather than picking one and work on it.

I am aware of this problem and I try to minimize the process of things I have to do, such as the kind of exercise I do, what food I eat for lunch, what clothes I wear, etc. I easily get overwhelmed by all the little decisions I have to make. As a result, I often find myself sitting somewhere agonizing about life. I've got an internal battle between "mysevels". I use the word "myselves", because I believe there are two of me living inside of my brain. And they constantly fight for their positions.

Perhaps, there is another one then. The one that actually lives the life and that take actions of whatever decisions have been made by these two.

I, as the third one, am sick of these two and the nonstop battles between them. Now that I am conscious of what's going on, I am going to try to defeat them and take the control.

It may sound I have some kind of psychological disorder. I actually believe this is a disorder that people like me need to cop with. It is toxic and damaging to our well-beings.

It's funny how I can write so much when I stop listening to them. They must be cursing me for doing so.