Why They Divorce

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Feb 23, 2019 11:45
It's been a while since I wrote anything. So today I am going to write about another cousin of mine who is going to divorce in response to a friend's curiosity.

My cousin Gang was a 32-year-old single man and he would be considered left-over man in the village. Every one in the family was worried about his future. His mother had abandoned him and his sister. His father was an alcoholic that made his family the poorest among his other 4 brothers.

Nowadays, it is very hard and expensive for a Chinese village man to get wife. It can cost up from 300,000yuan to 500,000yuan and most girls' family care about whether the man has a healthy mother. That is because the mother can take care of their future child and this has become a social norm. What is happening now may sound ridiculous to a western, but it's true and it happens for a reason.

I think I have explained before how the one-child policy resulted an imbalanced gender issue. Therefore, women are more valuable and hard to get.

Anyway, my cousin Gang had engaged with a woman and paid her a sum of money (possibly 100,000yuan) few years ago. Later, my cousin found out that this woman was a little stupid, so he decided to cancel the wedding and the money he had given her was lost.

From then on, he was on a journey of meeting different woman and none of them had worked out. By the time he was 32, everybody was getting really anxious. They were willing to accept a divorced woman, which could be considered unusual because Chinese man don't like divorced women and they think that they are second-hand.

Last year, he finally found a women who was 3 years old and had divorced. She even had a 12-year-old daughter. Things were going well, and he only spent 120,000 yuan to get this wife. My cousin didn't have all the money and my family borrowed some money to him, so had other relatives. When it comes to marriage, relatives are either keen or obligated to help financially. You can see how big of deal that is for Chinese people.

They got married and we were happy for him. However, this year when I went back to my hometown and asked about them. My cousin awkwardly said this marriage didn't work out. I was shocked and I felt sorry for him.

Later, I learned about the true reason from my mother. At first, I thought it was the woman's fault. It turned out my cousin had pneumonia and he wouldn't quit smoke, so his wife was really angry and disappointed. She was also suspecting that he had an affair with his female boss. So she requested him to quit his job and go work in another city. He declined. And they are going to divorce.

Considering 40 men in my village who are still single and they cannot get a wife for varies reasons, I don't think my cousin will have any chance of getting another one. He might be single for the rest of his life just like his father.