I consider myself a lucky person.

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Dec 9, 2018 12:58
I consider myself a lucky person.

I was born in the 90s and at the time, it was illegal for Chinese families to have more than two children according to the China's one-child policy.

The government took an aggressive step to enforce this policy. They forced women who were having a second child to abort their babies and punished families that have secretly had the second child.

Chinese people have always valued boys because the parents expect boys to take care of them when they get older and they think that boys can contribute their labor for the family, thus provide food.

This has resulted many girls died before born, or even after born. Some were aborted, while others were being sent away.

I was the oldest in my family and I have a younger sister who were sent away to my aunt to avoid penalty which my family couldn't afford at the time. The plan was to wait and at some point to bring her home. However, she ended up staying with my aunt until she was married.

My aunt loved her, but as an uneducated woman, she loved her her own way. At 4th grade, my sister decided to quit her school and migrant to a bigger city to make money. My aunt agreed because she thought she had to respect her decisions and that my sister wasn't good at school anyway.

My family has supported my sister financially and she would visit us from time to time. She knew that she was my sister and that my dad was her dad. However, we were not as close as we should've been.

After two years working in a factory, she returned home and got married with a local guy. The marriage was never happy. They would fight all the time. At one point, they almost got divorced. However, because of a disagreement on the child's custody, they stayed married and they're now expecting a second child.

Last night, we talked on the phone. I told her that I bought some picture books for her daughter. She didn't seem to know about what these books are for. And she would yell at her daughter even thought she repeatedly said she loved her child. I am sure she does. She just doesn't know how to express her love to a kid properly because she was never taught how.

I kept thinking that it could've been me living the life she has now and that I wouldn't be able to write an English post like this one and share it on an English website.

I feel that life has given me an great opportunity and I need to somehow make the best of it.