My thought beside my dying father.

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May 5, 2017 13:26
I've written down my thought in Japanese first. The written sentence would be rather long. So you don't need to correct all of them.

Now my father is almost dead. The other day my uncle died. I attended the funeral. My nephew was the chief of the ceremony. I I thought that I would be the chief for my father's funeral.
My father's health condition has become crucial lately.
I thought he would spend long time in a nursing home while my mother had a big surgery on this January.
After that his health condition got very bad and this week he is about to die. Of coarse I have a lot of memories with him. On the other hand he hasn't have any memories with me during two years. For recent several months he just sat and slept and for recent two weeks he stopped eating. However, there is no difference between normal people and him in living a life. The fact seems to make me feel that people have to do what they should do while they are good in their health condition. There are good and bad aspects from leaving a life without intention, robust and unique intentions. Of course I should not ignore the importance of being alive because of God or something great. I've believed that I should do what I believe is more precious without hesitation. I should paying attention to my live to 80 or 90 yrars old with good health
まず私が思うことを日本語で書き落とした
少し長い文章ですし、全てを直していただく必要はありません。

父が危篤になった。
先日おじさんがなくなり葬儀に参列した、いとこが喪主を務めていて、いとこが喪主を務めていて、私も次は葬式を取り仕切る立場になると思った。
父の容体はかなり急に悪くなった。
母親が大きな手術をした年明けに父はこれから長い間老人ホームに入ると考えていた。
それが気がつけばもうみるみる弱ってしまい危篤になってしまった。
もちろん父の昔の思い出はいろいろある。
他方で父はもうこの2年間僕のことも忘れてしまっている。この数ヶ月、父はただ座り、この2週間何も食べなくなった。
それでも元気で生活している人と、生きていることに変わりはない、そのことが逆に私が生きている間に、なすべき事は憶せすべきであることを意識させられた気がした。惰性で生活している良い面と悪い面と。悪いと言い過ぎるとは良くは無いのだが。元気なうちには、躊躇せず、できることをしなるべく元気な姿で生きる努力をしたいと思う。