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To a Park near Nijyo Castle
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My daughters and I went to a park near Nijyo Castle for a long time. The weather was very fine.
The good weather made many family going to the park.
I used to go there many times with my oldest daughter...
My daughters dashed to a red wired thing to climb when I got them off from their seats.
Amazingly, my youngest daughter was also climbing on it slowly. I didn't expect that she would enjoy it as her elder sister did... She also grew up through many chances like gymnastics or practices in her kindergarten...
It was a hot day. They wanted to have a ice desert. It is promised to eat ice cream when the weather is good. They were satisfied with the cool sweat. It was fun.
The good weather made many family going to the park.
I used to go there many times with my oldest daughter...
My daughters dashed to a red wired thing to climb when I got them off from their seats.
Amazingly, my youngest daughter was also climbing on it slowly. I didn't expect that she would enjoy it as her elder sister did... She also grew up through many chances like gymnastics or practices in her kindergarten...
It was a hot day. They wanted to have a ice desert. It is promised to eat ice cream when the weather is good. They were satisfied with the cool sweat. It was fun.
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The weather was very good. or just "fine"
For some reason "very fine" is very strange ^^;
The good weather made many families going to the park.
She also grew up with many chances like gymnastics or practices in her kindergarten...
They wanted to have a ice dessert.
It is a must to eat ice cream when the weather is good.
They were satisfied with the cool sweet.
Haha!
My daughters dashed to a red wired thing to climb when I got them off their seats.
I didn't expect that she would enjoy it as (much as) her elder sister did...
She also grew up through many chance experiences like gymnastics or practices in her kindergarten...
They wanted to have a nice desert.
My daughters and I stayed at a park near Nijyo Castle for a long time.
you were physically there, so we use 'stayed' instead of 'went' which would imply time of journey.
The weather was very fine.
The good weather made many families go to the park.
My daughters dashed to a red wired thing to climb when I got them off from their seats.
'thing' is correct, we can also use 'structure' which would mean it has somewhat shape.
I didn't expect her to enjoy it as much as her elder sister did...
She also grew up with many chances to experience gymnastics and practices during her kindergarten years...
They wanted to have dessert.
if you mean icecream, by all means just say icecream, but otherwise, scrap the ice haha, that would make the sentence flow more.
It is a must to eat ice cream when the weather is good.
or, considering you mean otherwise: I promised to buy them ice cream when the weather was good.
They were satisfied with the cool taste.
My daughters and I went to a park near Nijyo Castle and stayed there for a long time.
The weather was very good/nice.
The good weather made many families go to the park.
'The good weather encouraged many families to go to the park' would also work here :)
I used to go there often with my oldest daughter...
My daughters dashed to climb on a red wired thing as soon as I got them down from their seats.
'when' is totally correct here, but 'as soon as' gives the information that they dashed immediately, though. (if I've understood your meaning correctly)
I didn't expect that she would enjoy it as much as her elder sister did...
She also grew up with many chances to do gymnastics or practices at her kindergarten...
I haven't been able to understand what you meant by 'practices' here.
They wanted to have a cold dessert.
It is the done thing to eat ice cream when the weather is good.
They were satisfied with the cool dessert.