IELTS writing practice No.1
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Task:
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
There are many different types of music in the world today, why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
The following is my practice writing:
I think music is a gift for human being. It is a good way for people to express their feelings of passion, love, joy, or passion and disappointment. Sometimes although people speak different languages, they can still share their love through music. There are many great musicians in the history and nowadays, they are loved by the whole world, not just their countries.
Music is also a kind of inspiration for people. That’s why there are always theme songs for big events like the Olympics or the World Cup. Music gives people courage and power.
It’s really hard to say traditional music or international music which one is more important. I think international music is a big industry now and make huge money every year. But traditional music is kinda unique and should be protected.
Since I don’t have a particular subject to write about tonight, I went to a IELTS practice book and found the above writing task. Then I found it’s much harder to write a formal essay on a given subject then to write a casual blog. I haven’t done it in almost two years.
Well, I would like to take the challenge and improve my writing skills through constant practice. I hope you can check them for me.^_^
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
There are many different types of music in the world today, why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
The following is my practice writing:
I think music is a gift for human being. It is a good way for people to express their feelings of passion, love, joy, or passion and disappointment. Sometimes although people speak different languages, they can still share their love through music. There are many great musicians in the history and nowadays, they are loved by the whole world, not just their countries.
Music is also a kind of inspiration for people. That’s why there are always theme songs for big events like the Olympics or the World Cup. Music gives people courage and power.
It’s really hard to say traditional music or international music which one is more important. I think international music is a big industry now and make huge money every year. But traditional music is kinda unique and should be protected.
Since I don’t have a particular subject to write about tonight, I went to a IELTS practice book and found the above writing task. Then I found it’s much harder to write a formal essay on a given subject then to write a casual blog. I haven’t done it in almost two years.
Well, I would like to take the challenge and improve my writing skills through constant practice. I hope you can check them for me.^_^
I think music is a gift for humanity.
It is an effective way for to express their feelings [syn. "emotions"] of passion, love, joy, or passion and disappointment.
Regardless of whether people speak different languages, they can still share in their common love of music.
There have been many great musicians throughout history, and their work continue to be loved in the present, not only in the countries where they performed, but throughout the world.
Music also inspires people.
That’s why there are always theme songs for big [syn. "significant" ] global events such as the Olympics or the World Cup.
Music galvanizes people and empowers them.
It is difficult to emphasize the importance of either traditional music or international music over the other.
I think international music is a big [huge] industry now that makes [generates] huge profits every year.
But, traditional music is unique and should be protected.
I haven’t done it in almost two years.
Nominalizations refer to when writers turn verbs into noun.
For example you wrote :
Music is also a kind of inspiration for people.
Here you have turned the verb "to inspire" into a noun "inspiration."
Music = Inspiration.
It would be clearer to the reader if you take the subject "music" and turn it into the agent of the action "to inspire."
"Music inspires people."
It takes getting use to, but in the end, getting rid of unnecessary nominalizations will lead to clearer sentences.
Great job!
It is a good way for people to express their feelings of passion, love, joy, or disappointment.
Although people may speak different languages, they can still share their common love of music.
There are many great musicians throughout history and in the present; they are loved by the whole world, not just by the people of the countries where they are from.
Music is also an inspiration for some people.
However traditional music is kinda unique and should be protected.
It is a good way for people to express their feelings of passion, love, joy, or passion and disappointment.
It is difficult to say whether traditional music or international music which one is more important.
It is a good way for people to express their feelings of passion, love, joy, or passion and disappointment.
There have been many great musicians throught history and nowadays, they are loved by the whole world, not just their countries.
Music is also a kind of inspiration for some people.
It’s really hard to decide whether traditional or international music is more important.
However, traditional music is rather unique and should be protected. ("kinda" is too colloquial for the formality of this text.)
Since I didn't have a particular subject to write about tonight, I went to a IELTS practice book and found the above writing task.
Hmm, I think all music is equally important. Everybody likes *some* music.