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Airth
  • I just wanted to show my empathy for her sweet poem in latest her mail though, I wrote just like the below out of my carelessness.
  • I just wanted to show my empathy for her sweet poem in her latest mail, but I wrote just like the following out of my carelessness. << "Though" doesn't work as well as "but" in this case. It's a bit too 'soft'.
latest her mail → her latest mail
Airth
  • A clear blue sky was amazingly spreading over with a crisp wind breezing around.
  • A clear blue sky was spread out beautifully above with a crisp breeze blowing around. << With "over" you need to have an object: over me; over the house | You can't mix "wind" & "breeze", because "breeze" is a kind of "wind".
★With "over" you need to have an object: over me; over the house

was spread out beautifully above
a crisp wind breezing around → a crisp breeze blowing around
Airth
  • I don't have enough time to write something enjoyable until the date changes!
  • I don't have enough time to write something enjoyable by the time the date changes! << You always have time to write something "until", because it simply means keep writing and then stop at the deadline.
by the time the date changes
Airth
  • Anyway it’s certain that this summer has deeply been taken into my mind.
  • Anyway, there's no denying that this summer has been deeply etched into my mind.
there's no denying that
etched into my mind
Airth
  • The preparation has unexpectedly taken time - that’s why I haven’t taken care of my diary in Lang-8 to the present(T.
  • The preparation has taken more time than I expected. That’s why I haven’t taken care of my diary on Lang-8 recently (T.
taken more time than I expected
to the present → recently
Airth
  • At the start of this year, actually I was firmly committed in my mind to launch a new business and then implemented it in April amid the Japan’s deepening plight.
  • At the start of this year, I was actually firmly committed in my mind to launch a new business. I then implemented my plan in April amid the Japan’s deepening plight.
I then
Airth
  • It's a very personal affair though, another certain thing made this summer become even more something for me.
  • Though it's a very personal affair, something else made this summer stick in my mind even more.
stick in my mind even more
Airth
  • Besides deadly typhoons swept away Japanese archipelago at a measured pace one after another, which didn’t only inundate provincial areas but Tokyo metropolitan district - above all in northern Japan where devastated by the previous quake and radiation, things went worst from worse…no doubt about that.
  • OK, there's too much happening in this sentence. This is an example where it's better to break it down into smaller parts. Let's have a go: What's more, deadly typhoons swept slowly across the Japanese archipelago one after another. They didn’t only hit provincial areas but also the Tokyo metropolitan district. On top of that, in northern Japan, which was devastated by the previous quake and radiation, there's no doubt that things went from worse to worse.
Let's have a go
On top of that,
there's no doubt that
things went from worse to worse
Ashley
  • The following is focused on the ongoing radioactive event among stories I read or watched on line in a couple of days.
  • The following is focused on the ongoing radioactive events among in stories I have read or watched online in the last couple of days.
events in stories I have read or watched online in the last couple days.
Ashley
  • Well, I can't find any proper word to address them...
  • Well, I can't find any the right words to address them these disasters with.
I can't find the right words to address these disasters with.

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